When Rihanna dropped the music video for "BBHMM" over the summer she probably had debtors knocking on her door in droves, hoping to avoid the fate of her accountant, Mads Mikklesen, in the video. The original clip is really an exercise in carnage. I could only watch it once. There's kidnapping, torture, extortion, and murder, and Rihanna accomplishes it all with an innocent, tight-lipped smile. Then she released a point-of-view version of the video on her app, which allows users to navigate around the scene from the perspective of the ill-fated accountant. Now, just in time for the spookiest holiday of the year, Rihanna has released a new "Bitch Better Have My Money" clip that was not originally included in the narrative: the murder itself.
There's no doubt in the first version of the video that Mads Mikkelsen's character dies. Rihanna pops up at the close, drenched in blood, a vision that will haunt your dreams. This new clip reveals where all that blood came from. Why, her accountant's arteries, of course!
There's something to the adage that the scariest parts of movies are the parts you don't see, but Rihanna seems to be rebelling against that theory. But honestly, the monsters you imagine are nearly always worse than the ones that can be created on screen, and imagining the monstrosities Rihanna commits against the men who wrong her is more fun — and more grotesque — than what actually plays out on screen. The new segment, well, it's just kind of creepy. That being said, it took me a little while to reach that conclusion. Check out a couple of the (very NSFW) clips below (the rest are available on her fan Twitter) and the 11 stages of watching the new "BBHMM" clip, because it's still seriously scary.
1. When You Realize There's A New Rihanna Clip
Where have you been all my life?
2. When You Find Out It's Only On Her App
... And it's not even in the Apple Store yet.
3. When You Finally Get Hold Of The Clip
My body is ready.
4. When You Realize You're Basically Mads Mikkelsen
Whose brilliant idea was it to reframe this as a POV video? I now understand what it is to fear the wrath of Rihanna. And I know this isn't going to end well.
5. When Rihanna Struts On Screen
Okay, I can handle this. I can do this.
6. When Things Get Very Dark Very Fast
Nope, no, definitely not, I don't think I can keep watching.
7. When She Cuts Out His Tongue And Poses With It
That was his tongue, right? Not... Something else? And when you start butchering a person, is your first instinct really to play with the leftover bits? Am I just squeamish?
8. When She Cuts Off His Hand And There's Just Blood Everywhere
I need this to be over now.
9. When Really, It's Just A Lot Of Blood
So much blood. Blood everywhere.
10. When Rihanna Gouges Out His Eyes And It's Really All Our Eyes
Because, you know, that point-of-view thing. This has got to be some kind of commentary on celebrity and the gaze of the other or something, right?
11. When Mads Mikkelsen Is Blind And You Realize It's All Over
I can't unsee that. Rihanna, if I've ever done anything to offend you, I'm so sorry. I take it all back.
It's a lot, and it's just two minutes of new footage. (Compare that with the seven minutes of terror of the original video.) Rihanna seems to be celebrating Halloween just a little bit early. Watch if you dare, or, you know, just don't.
Images: Reaction Gifs (11)