We all know that the classic turkey dinner is one of those Thanksgiving staples, but so is saying everything that you're grateful for. And, while there are certain things you just need to say, we all know there's a big difference between what you say you're thankful for on Thanksgiving and what you actually mean.
Of course, I'm definitely grateful for things like my family, friends, and good health. But, there are those certain things that you're also thankful for that you just can't say around the Thanksgiving dinner table. Like, I'm thankful for wine. I'm thankful for movie marathons. I'm thankful for sweatpants. But, uh, if I were to mention these things in front of my relatives, it wouldn't exactly go over quite so well.
Instead, you stifle your real feelings and spout out something more generic and expected. Because sometimes honesty isn't always the best policy. And, you may know what you really mean — but that doesn't mean everybody else has to. Your secret is safe with me.
So, in honor of Thanksgiving approaching, here are all of the things you say you're thankful for, as well as what you actually mean when you say them. Don't worry, grandma can still think that you're really grateful for her homemade pumpkin pie. Hey, ignorance is bliss.
1. "I'm thankful for my family."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "Thanks for all of the help and support. But, I'm really glad that we only need to do this once a year."
2. "I'm thankful for my career."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "And I'm extra grateful to have four days off from said career."
3. "I'm thankful for this delicious meal."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "I'm glad this marathon face-stuffing session gives me an excuse to be useless on the couch for hours. Oh, and I'm extra thankful that it's free."
4. "I'm thankful that I was able to make this trip home."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "But, honestly, that traffic was a nightmare and you guys better appreciate this."
5. "I'm thankful that we get to spend this time together."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "I'm so glad that this time is followed up by a quality couch nap and then getting drunk at the bar with people I haven't seen since high school."
6. "I'm thankful that I no longer have to sit at the kids' table."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "But, wait. Do they have extra green bean casserole over there? Because, it sure looks like they have more than us. And, why don't they have to help with dishes? Can I go back?"
7. "I'm thankful for all of my friends."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "Yeah, fine, they're great. But, Kelsey still has my favorite sweater. And, if she doesn't give it back soon I'll lose my mind. Honestly, she's so entitled. She just treats everything like it's hers. And, she's so stubborn. You can't explain anything to her. Like, just give me my sweater back."
8. "I'm thankful for my super supportive parents."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "A big thanks to my parents for letting me crash at their house for free, and then undoubtedly sending me home with three bags of food and clean laundry."
9. "I'm thankful I was able to get a quality education."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "I'm just saying this because I need something to make those student loan payments feel worth it."
10. "I'm thankful for this wonderful time of year."
WHAT YOU MEAN: "Because we're just one step closer to the holidays. Which means I can finally get all of that stuff I've been wanting, without needing to pay for it myself. By the way, that reminds me. Do you guys need a list?"