There's a good chance that missionary is your favorite sex position — your standby. And for good reason: the missionary position has great penetration, it's easy, and there's face-to face closeness. There's no reason for it to be boring. Yes, maybe you do it every single time you have sex, or nearly, but you have the potential to do a ton of different missionary variations.
Because I write about sex, and like to experiment, people assume my sex life is always a crazy combination of weird positions using pulleys and levers. Not true. OK, sometimes it's a little. Sometimes it's wild, sometimes it's non-existent, but a lot of the time I stick to what's simple. In fact some of the best sex I've ever had was with a guy I was hooking up with for over a year and a half and in all that time I swear we only did three or four positions. But we did them well, we played around in them, and the sex was great. And missionary position was the bedrock of our sex life, because it has so many options.
So here seven tips for better missionary sex, because it's great and you're probably doing it all the time.
1. Bring A Friend
No, not a threesome (although if that's your thing, go for it!), but probably the shortest route to really upping any position is to add a little vibration. Board-certified sexologist Justine Shuey tells Shape that she recommends We Vibe for missionary position, but other couples toys or vibes will work just fine, too.
2. Pillow Play
Props and pillows are a good way to make any position more comfortable. Every body is different, and if the way you fit together doesn't quite work, or makes your lower back twitch, don't suffer through— find something that works for the both of you. According to Durex, you can use a pillow "under the woman's hips or buttocks during missionary-style sex to deepen penetration", and just to make things more comfortable.
3. Test Your Flexibility
Trying placing your calves or knees on your partner's shoulders during missionary. This one can be too much for some people, either because they find it difficult to hold the leg position or because the penetration feels too intense. Totally fine, if it's not your thing. I really enjoy it— Cosmopolitan calls it the Rock n Roll, and it's definitely worth a try.
4. Power Shifts
If you're on bottom and your partner pulls back from thrusting and you join in, you can power-play a bit. Put your feet flat on the bed to get some leverage and add a different dimension to the old standby.
5. Get Your Hands Involved
One of the drawbacks of this position is that you're going to have some trouble doing any clit play (although if your partner is up a bit higher, it's available), but the good news if your hands are free for other things. Use your hands to pleasure your partner or to help control the speed and depth of the thrusting.
6. Tie It Up
Because it's a position that you probably know very well and feel comfortable in, it's a good time to introduce something a little kinkier still in a safe space. Women's Health suggests using "a scarf or tie (or handcuffs for those who are little more experienced with kink) and bind your hands above you as your guy takes the reins." It definitely kicks it up a notch.
7. Move It Around
Taking the basic position and moving it somewhere else is a great shift. Try missionary on the stairs, but if that seems a bit much, take the party to the couch, edge of the bed, or the countertop.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer:
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