Have you ever thought that maybe you're the problem in your relationship? No? Me neither, but denial is a funny thing. When it comes to relationships, there are two sides to every story, but that doesn’t mean that one side isn’t more of a problem than the other. For example, if you’re not present in your relationship and like to cheat on your partner, then it’s safe to say that you’re probably the problem. In fact, it’s probably best that you’re not in a relationship at the moment. No judgement; just an observation. Anyway, if you've been in a few relationships in your life, chances are you've been the problem at some point.
But not all “bad” behavior is so black and white. Some problematic actions might not even be on your radar at all. Maybe you go about your relationship thinking that your partner is the one causing all the issues, when that’s not exactly the truth.
Realizing you're the problem in your relationship, isn't easy. It means admitting you're wrong, being able to see what you've done, and ultimately trying to "fix" what parts of you might need a little help. Can you pull off such a task? Possibly. Here are six signs that you're the problem in your relationship.
1. You Refuse To Compromise
One of the biggest foundations of relationships is compromise. You just can’t go into a situation thinking that things will entirely go your way, and that’s that. While some things should never be compromised, like your freedom or your career, other things you need to be able to budge on — at least a little bit. Not being able to budge, not even half an inch, doesn’t make you an easy person to deal with.
2. You Put Yourself First All The Time
Believe it or not, studies have proven that being selfish in a relationship can be good for you. But you can’t be like that all the time and expect it to not create a problem. If you care about your partner, then you give them the space not just to be present in the relationship, but also to voice their presence. You shouldn't have the floor at all times.
3. You Have Unattainable Expectations
Expectations for yourself and your partner aren’t just normal, but healthy. Without them, what are you supposed to reach for? But while having expectations is totally fine, it isn’t OK to be unrealistic. If you find that you’re constantly disappointed in your relationships because of the standards you’ve set, then it’s definitely you with the problem. Both you and your partner should have similar expectations for each other.
4. Every Partner You’ve Had Has The Same Complaint
It’s painful to realize that there might be a pattern in how you behave in relationships. But since we're creatures of habit, you can’t really be surprised. This isn’t to suggest that your partner is flawless, but if the people you date have the same problems with you ― you’re selfish, you don’t listen, you always reach for the last slice of pizza before anyone else can ― then that’s a clear indication that maybe you're making the same mistakes, and it's time change your ways.
5. You Date People You Hope You Can Change
No, no, no! People don’t change, especially once they get to a certain age. That being said, if you go into relationships hoping to mold the person you’re dating into something they’re not, that’s definitely a problem. It’s also a problem that you’ve created by thinking you can create the perfect person. Listen, the perfect person already exists, and you can’t have him, because he’s with Eva Mendes at the moment, OK?
6. You Aren’t Able To See When You’re Wrong
Although admitting that you’re wrong is a whole other ballpark, at least seeing that you’re wrong is a baby step in that direction. And guess what? You’ve been wrong more than a few times, I’m sure of it. If you go through your entire relationship completely void of the concept that you’ve made some errors in judgment along the way, then you’re definitely the problem. Healthy relationships require not one but two people being able to not just see but also admit when they’re wrong.
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