Sim Chanel's first year as Sim Kappa Kappa Tau president was not going as she had hoped: One of Sim Chanel's sorority sisters went AWOL. Sim Chanel's relationship with Sim Chad was about as healthy as a cotton ball lunch. The Sim Red Devil crashed the Sim Chanel-O-Ween gift exchange. Sim Chanel's Sim Chanel-O-Ween maze was a total bust. This was not the legacy Sim Chanel wanted to leave behind.
Sim Chanel hated being the lone Sim standing at the helm of of what she deemed a sinking ship, but she was not quite ready to give up her reign. So when Sim Chanel found out Sim Zayday wanted to run for Sim Kappa president, Sim Chanel saw a potential solution.
Early One Morning, Sim Chanel & Sim Zayday Caucused On The Balcony
"I have a fun idea," Sim Chanel started. "You. Me. Co-presidents."
"Shouldn't we let the other Sim Kappas vote on it?" Sim Zayday asked. She was both surprised by and wary of Sim Chanel's proposition. "Like, this seems sketchballs."
"Nope. Not sketchballs. I just think it'd be neat to work together."
"Who are you and what have you done with Sim Chanel?"
"You caught me. I'm actually a boring and patient and selfless good samaritan in disguise," Sim Chanel deadpanned. "I'm wearing a Sim Chanel skinsuit. Fits like a super hot glove, doesn't it?"
"There's the Sim Chanel I know," Sim Zayday sighed. "Whatever. I guess you won't tell me the real reason why you're into this co-presidency, but I'll just go along with it."
A Few Hours Later, A Mini Flood Happened In The Kitchen
Woo, the Sim Red Devil really had to go, didn't he?
Oh, False Alarm
Oh. I see. It was the kitchen sink. The Sim Red Devil did not pee all over the kitchen. My apologies to the Sim Red Devil.
The Dishwasher Too?
Ugh. I guess I could call a repair technician. OR I COULD BURN IT ALL DOWN.
(I called a repair technician.)
Sim Chanel #3 & Sim Chanel Argued About The Broken Sink
Strangely, Sim Chanel, Sim Chanel #3, and Sim Hester/Chanel #6 did not notice...
...That The Sim Red Devil Was Typing Away On The Kitchen Laptop!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!!! DO SOMETHING!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Later That Day, Sim Chanel #2 Attempted To Tell Sim Chanel All About The Movie Ticket Price Drama
"Don't tell the Sim Red Devil, but it costs §40 to see a movie—" Sim Chanel #2 began.
"Wait, do you actually think I want to hear you ramble on about movie ticket prices?" Sim Chanel interrupted. "This is an insufferable tire fire of an anecdote. Can we talk about something more relevant to my interests?"
Before Sim Chanel #2 Could Protest, Sim Chanel Switched The Subject
"You have GOT to see the pair of boxing gloves I bought the other day," Sim Chanel gushed.
Sim Chanel #2 Responded With A Story About A Seashell-Shaped Napkin
Sim Chanel glared at Sim Chanel #2. Sim Chanel #2 ignored the glare. Sim Chanel sighed. Sim Chanel #2 continued to prattle on about the seashell napkin. Sim Chanel rolled her eyes, turned on her heel, and stormed away.
"I miss living at the mortuary," Sim Chanel #2 whispered to herself. "I don't know why I ever came back to this place."
Meanwhile, Sim Grace & Sim Zayday Discussed The Sim Red Devil
"If we're going to catch the Sim Red Devil," Sim Grace explained, "we gotta get a big ol' net. Maybe put a fish at the bottom of the net for good measure."
Sim Grace's Plan Was Only Just Getting Started
"When we drop the net on the Sim Red Devil, we'll take pictures of him," Sim Grace went on. "We'll post the pics online. He'll be so embarrassed."
Sim Chanel Snuck Into The Bedroom Just As Sim Zayday Started Talking About Blank CDs
"And then we can put the humiliating photos on CDs and hand them out to strangers!" Sim Zayday added. "This plan is brilliant."
Sim Chanel erroneously assumed she was the target of this humiliating photo plan.
I will not let these two dingbats ruin my reputation, Sim Chanel thought.
Chanel Summoned The Other Chanels
"Sim Grace and Sim Zayday are out to get the Sim Chanels," Sim Chanel told her minions. "I overheard them scheming an evil scheme. I don't trust them. Or their blank CD plan. And neither should you."
"Then why is Sim Zayday co-president?" Sim Chanel #5 asked.
"ENEMIES CLOSER, DINGUS," Sim Chanel spat.
At Some Point, Sim Chad Dropped By The House
He played peekaboo with his own reflection. As one does.
Sim Dean Munsch & Sim Pete Also Dropped By The Sim Kappa Kappa Tau House
They'd heard Sim Chanel #2 was home, but they wouldn't believe it 'til they saw her with their own eyeballs.
"Who tweets about the Sim Red Devil wetting his pants, vanishes, and returns in one piece?" Sim Pete asked.
"Actually, it reminds me of something that happened to this very sorority back in the '90s," Sim Dean Munsch replied. "No, it wasn't a tweet. It was an AOL Instant Messenger away message."
"Whoa. That's crazy."
"Yeah, I've seen some things."
Sim Chanel #2 & Sim Grace Greeted Sim Dean Munsch & Sim Pete
Sim Grace could not stop talking about the sun's new pair of sunglasses.
Like, It Was All Sim Grace Wanted To Talk About
Whatever sizzles your bacon, Sim Grace.
Meanwhile, The Sim Red Devil Meandered Down To The Kitchen, Casually Grabbed A Plate Of Waffles, Stared At Sim Grace & Sim Chanel #3, & Crept Back To His Lair
Once again, no one noticed the Sim Red Devil. The Sim Red Devil figured this could only mean one thing: he'd become invisible overnight. He decided he'd go test out his new magic power on the townspeople after he finished the plate of waffles.
(And no, the Sim Red Devil did not actually become invisible. Sorry to disappoint. So why didn't react to the Sim Kappas react to the Sim Red Devil lurking around the kitchen? They were just especially distracted that day, I guess.)
The Sim Red Devil Threw His Plans Out The Lair Window When The Sim Paparazzo Returned
Between forkfuls of waffle, the Sim Red Devil looked out the lair window. He spotted the paparazzo walking up to the Sim Kappa Kappa Tau house.
"Him again?" the Sim Red Devil snarled. "Who told him he could lurk around the Sim Kappa Kappa Tau house? WHO IS HE? What's his deal? What does he know and/or want to know? Hasn't anyone told him there's only room for one lurking creep here? I better go set him straight. He needs to leave my lurk zone be."
The Sim Red Devil wolfed down the rest of the waffles, cracked his knuckles, and made his way to the front door.
The Sim Red Devil Decided He'd Try To Confront The Paparazzo Again
He had to finish what he'd started the night of the Sim Chanel-O-Ween maze.
Alas, The Paparazzo Refused To Stop & Talk To The Sim Red Devil
"Wait a second," the Sim Red Devil mumbled. "I almost forgot! I'm invisible. He's not ignoring me. He just can't see me!"
The paparazzo heard the Sim Red Devil talking to himself. The paparazzo picked up his pace.
The Sim Red Devil Pulled A "2 Become 1"
As the Sim Red Devil sprinted over to the paparazzo, the paparazzo hit the brakes. The Sim Red Devil crashed into the paparazzo. They melted together.
The Sim Red Devil waited for the paparazzo to acknowledge the fusion. The paparazzo remained silent.
"Set your spirit free," the Sim Red Devil whisper-sang, "it's the only way to be."
The Paparazzo Broke Free
The paparazzo remained silent.
A Car Pulled Up
Before the Sim Red Devil could stop him, the paparazzo climbed in the car and sped off. But the Sim Red Devil, plucky chap that he is, would not be discouraged by a getaway car.
The Sim Red Devil Tailed The Paparazzo Into The City
The Sim Red Devil saw the paparazzo walk into a building. The Sim Red Devil would loiter outside of the building until the paparazzo walked through those front doors.
Wait, what was this building?
Ah. The Hospital. Totally Chill Place To Loiter.
The Sim Red Devil was shocked that no one seemed to be bothered by his loitering.
"Ah yes. It must be because I'm invisible," the Sim Red Devil reminded himself."
The Sim Red Devil's Plan Worked
As the paparazzo left the hospital, the Sim Red Devil grabbed his shoulder.
"Do not be alarmed by my disembodied voice," the Sim Red Devil began, "but I am the Sim Red Devil. And I am invisible."
"I mean, it's dark out, but I can see you," the paparazzo replied as he yanked his shoulder free of the Sim Red Devil's grasp.
"Hold up. I'm not invisible?"
"No. You're extremely visible."
The Sim Red Devil's eyes began to well up with tears. "Then why is everyone ignoring me?"
"Uh, I don't know? Maybe it's the freaky clown makeup?"
Before The Sim Red Devil Could Respond, The Paparazzo Scampered Off
But the Sim Red Devil wanted more answers. The Sim Red Devil, plucky chap that he is, would not give up yet. The Sim Red Devil followed the paparazzo.
The Sim Red Devil Followed The Paparazzo To A Community Pool
BOOK HIM, SIM RED DEVIL.
Oops, Change Of Plans
Just as he was about to corner the paparazzo, the Sim Red Devil realized he was too hungry to go through with the inquisition.
The Sim Red Devil Hailed A Cab & Went Home
"I'll get you next time, paparazzo. Next time," the Sim Red Devil growled.
"Chill out back there, Dr. Claw," the cab driver replied.
Will the Sim Red Devil ever get Inspector Gadget, er, the paparazzo? TO BE CONTINUED.
Images: The Sims 3/EA Games (30); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (30)