12 Thanksgiving Problems 'Veronica Mars' Can Solve, From Annoying Questions To Sleep Deprivation
Ah, the holidays. For many, this means gearing up for a three-day marathon of eating as much as possible. However, it usually also means family time. Lots, and lots, and lots of family time. Thanksgiving may be a day to give thanks for what we have in our lives, but sometimes it can be downright exhausting. If that's how you feel, don't worry, because you're not alone. Television's super sleuth Veronica Mars will get you through Thanksgiving, the best way she knows how — with sarcastic smiles and hidden eye rolls.
Whether you will be spending Thanksgiving with your family, or you're opting for a Friendsgiving this year, you'll need a side of Mars sass to get through it, so if you're feeling especially feisty, allow Veronica Mars to walk you through the holiday. During the three glorious seasons (and one movie!) that Veronica was in action, we were taught how to properly address all types of situations and encounters. Depending on your surroundings, Thanksgiving might mean cooking with your family, spiking your apple cider, or wanting to rip your hair out when your aunt asks you for the fifteenth time if you'd like to be set up with her neighbor's grandson. No matter the situation, just remember W.W.V.D. (what would Veronica do, obviously) when any of the following Turkey Day issues arise:
1. The Pre-Meal Pep Talk
Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't go crazy on Plate One, as Plates Two and Three deserve equal attention, love, and stuffing. Check in on your elastic waistband, and make sure the ole pull-on pants are up for the challenge.
2. When Someone Asks You Why You're Still Single
Not today, Aunt Marge. Not. Today.
3. When Your Parents #HumbleBrag About Your New Job
Make sure you give off the "too cool to care" aura, so people think you're just casually climbing the career ladder and don't worry about whether it will work out, even though every day you are absolutely terrified of messing up.
4. When Someone Goes For The Last Biscuit
I am not afraid to get physical over that last popover, so don't kid yourself. It's mine.
5. When It Only Takes 15 Minutes For Someone To Say Something Offensive
Once you get over your initial shock — which Veronica would not want you to hide — you should start a bet with your cousins about who will be the next family member to say something cringeworthy. It might even make for a good drinking game.
6. When Someone Asks You Why You're Still Single... Again
*Looks Aunt Marge dead in the eyes while holding the mixer* Do it. I dare you.
7. When Your Mom Decides To Skip The Sweet Potatoes This Year
You have hurt me today.
8. When Your Sister Leaves Early To See Her In-Laws
Now you know what true abandonment feels like.
9. When Your Friends Wake You Up At Sunrise For Black Friday Shopping
Can't you tell? I'm thrilled that it's going to be pitch black outside for the next three hours. No, please, tell me more about all of the sales as I pass out in line.
10. When Your Uncle Asks What You Want For Christmas
I'm just spitballing, but a miniature horse would be amaze.
11. When You Hide The Spiked Cider For Yourself
Better luck next year, everyone else who doesn't have a tasty fall beverage hidden behind her back.
12. When You Have To Leave
As frustrating as Thanksgiving can be, you're going to miss your family and friends. Just don't cry in front of your mom, because she'll force you to move home immediately, and Veronica would certainly have a few things to say about that.
Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (13)