Only when you happen to live in a big city do you understand that doing your laundry is easily one of the most frustrating parts of a lazy Sunday. (Or worse, the most frustrating part of your jam-packed Tuesday night.) I often find myself pining for the days of the college laundry room, which is a feeling I never thought would arise in my little heart. When you’re in the laundromat trenches on Sunday around 2 p.m., waiting for that last washer to free up so that you can pounce, you experience some dark feelings. You think of all the places you’d rather be (the dentist’s office, your ex’s engagement party, etc.), but try to remain alert so you can jump on the next washer-dryer.
One of the first things I learned when I moved to a big city is that I should've brought a bigger laundry basket. I have a tiny laundry basket, and while I have a great deal of affection for my hamper (my parents bought it for me seven years ago before I went to college), it only holds about a week's worth of laundry. Consequently, I need to do laundry way more often than I'd actually like to. I understand that the solution here would be to buy a new laundry basket, but, in theory, it's good that my small laundry basket encourages me to be hygienic at least once a week. Here are 11 ridiculous things only people who do laundry in big cities have done:
1. Date And/Or Befriend Someone Who Has On Site Laundry
My boyfriend has laundry and it's the glue that holds our relationship together. (Just kidding, he's amazing for many reasons, but the washer dryer situation is definitely in the top 10.)
2. Marry Them If You Don't Have To Use Quarters In Their Machine
Exaggeration? I think not.
3. Keep A Collection Of Quarters In A Safe Spot
And flip off on your roommate if they borrow one, because those quarters are the most precious metals in your life. The quarter collection is a sacred stash — like hidden treasure, or weed.
4. You've Had A Very Real Fight With Someone Who Took Your Clothes Out Of The Dryer And Dumped Them
If they dumped your clothes in a cart next to the washer, they get a disapproving shake of the head. If they dumped them on top of the machine, they get a low-key snarl. If they dumped your clothes on the floor, they get a piece of your mind.
5. Karate Kicked A Laundry Machine That Refused To Accept Your Quarters
And turned a lot of heads because you're causing a ruckus in Laund-O-Rama.
6. Had An Existential Argument With Yourself About Why The Hell Laundromats Have Such Weird Names
Laund-O-Rama. Lucky Laundrytown. Sparklean Laundromat. Kleen-Rite Cleaners. WHY OH WHY?
7. Tried For Over Three Hours To Connect To Laundromat Wifi Only To Give Up And Go Get A Donut
And then after you get the donut, you crawl back to the laundromat, and watch Netflix on your phone for three hours, and end up using all your data for the month.
8. Flirted With Someone In A Laundromat Just To Kill Time
You know how there are drunk goggles or graduation goggles, that make you look at a dating prospect in a different light? There's also My-Underwear-Has-Been-On-Delicate-Cycle-For-An-Hour-And-I-Still-Have-A-Whole-Other-Load goggles.
9. Tried To Get Someone To Hold Court And Provide A Laundry Ruling In The Case Of You Versus The Person Who Totally Stole Your Machine
"EXCUSE ME! Ma'am? Did you see her steal my machine? I need witnesses!"
10. Pulled A Rachel And Leapt Into A Laundry Cart To Mark Your Territory
And then kissed Ross and watched him smack his head against a dryer. I mean, the Friends saga could happen to any of us.
11. Refused To Change Your Sheets Just So You Don't Have To Do Laundry
You also will, occasionally, buy more underwear when you run out of clean pairs to spare yourself a trip to the laundromat.
Images: Giphy (11), Pixabay