9 Things No '90s Girl Would've Been Caught Dead In
Developing a serious addiction to plaid shirts? Hopelessly devoted to your platform ankle boots? Is a tattoo choker your go-to accessory? When it comes to the trends of A/W 2015, we have lots to thank the '90s for. But there are also several things no '90s girl would've been caught dead in worth taking note of.
Your '90s music tastes undoubtedly had a massive impact on which style subculture you subscribed to, but whether you favored grunge, Brit-pop or rave, there were some ostracized fashion, beauty, and accessory items that remained complete and utter no-nos. To hold your own when it came to stylishness in the school cafeteria, your best bet was to emulate the sartorial vibes of your favorite music and TV heroes — from Clueless's Cher and Tai to Sabrina, B*Witched, and S Club 7. Even The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air's Will was a style idol, with his love of denim on denim, crazily clashing colors and patterns, and backwards baseball caps.
To ensure you stay true to the aura of the '90s, make sure you avoid the nine fashion and beauty items no self-respecting '90s girl would've ever be seen in public sporting. Otherwise, true '90s aficionados will give you a cold shoulder as cool as Vanilla Ice's cargo pants.
1. Skinny Jeans
Topshop Mid-blue Jamie Jeans, $70, topshop.com
During the '90s, lust-worthy jeans weren't lavishly decorated or seductively svelte in fit. Instead, your ideal denims would have been either baggy and gloriously grungy with frayed hems, or high-waisted, ankle-tapered mom jeans in stonewash or bright indigo shades. Mickey Mouse Club super couple Britney and Justin would carry on their love of '90s-esque denim straight into the early '00s.
Clearly, their love for gorgeous denim transcended decades and Millenniums. If only their love for each other had been this unconditional.
2. Thin Stiletto Heels
Eva Ombre Glitter Pointed Court Heels, $44, boohoo.com
When it came to '90s footwear, the shoes that littered the streets were not spiky, stiletto-heeled court shoes or sandals, but chunky platform boots, flatform sneakers, and cork-soled mules. From the infamous black Steve Madden flatform sandals with the stretchy strap to too-cool-for-school clompy MUDD platform loafers and platform Heelys, no shoe was suitably stylish unless it rocked an ankle-twisting, moon boot-emulating high platform sole.
3. A Straight Middle Part
Whether you favored buns, butterfly clips, or a sleek, wet-look mane, no one worth their hairstyling salt settled for anything less than a zig-zag part in the '90s. Christina Aguilera was a huge supporter, helping solidify the zig-zag part as a young, striking, and subtly edgy "it" look.
4. Plain Black Mascara
Lash Sensational Black Pearl Mascara, $8.99, maybelline.com
When it came to lacquering one's lashes, no '90s girl would ever opt for boring black mascara when she could have her pick of brightly colored pastel hues. Hailed as "the '90s beauty comeback of 2015" by beauty site The Glow, colored mascara offered a fun, fashionable, and fiercely fabulous edge to even the most frumpy of school uniforms or parent-approved frocks.
5. Small Hoop Earrings
Small Hoop Earring, $4.88, claires.com
Back in the days of Brandy, Mary J. Blige, and S Club 7, donning diminutively-sized hoop earrings was basically the squarest of sartorial crimes. Just like many '90s fashion trends, the '90s hoop earring style was unapologetically oversized, loud, and proud.
6. Clear Hairspray
L'Oreal Elnett Satin Hairspray, $12.34, target.com
Back in the '90s, glitter, glitter, glitter was the name of the game. Glitter in your hair. Glitter on your face. Glitter on your body. Glitter on your nails. The mantra was, "When in doubt, glitter up!" Clear hairspray was so '80s, and wouldn't help you look sparkly enough to catch the eye of your elementary school crush.
7. Any Sneakers That Weren't Reebok Classics
Reebok Classics, $64.99, reebok.com
They accompanied you to the mall, to gym class, and even to a substantial percentage of school dances. Most of your friends owned at least one pair, and they were your go-to footwear for when you wanted to look effortlessly cool yet casual.
8. Plain Jane Hairbands
Conair Black Hair Elastics, $3.49, target.com
From ponies to pigtails, tying your hair back with a boring black hair elastic was a serious style mistake. After all, why choose plain and nondescript when you can wear five totally unique scrunchies? From purple velvet to paisley, the scrunchie was one of the cheapest yet most versatile hair accessories around.
9. Pale Pink Lipstick
Costa Chic Mac Lipstick, $17, maccosmetics.com
Back in the '90s, plum and mahogany lipstick shades ruled the roost. From Gwen Stefani's edgy accesorizing to Drew Barrymore's chocolate brown lipstick, dusky, gothic, and brick-colored hues were the color of choice. After all, Bobbi Brown launched its world-class lipstick line in 1991, with 10 different shades of brown lipstick "to fill a void in the market for simple, flattering, wearable makeup," according to Today.
To be a true '90s girl, all you really need is a good velvet scrunchie, some comfortable kicks, and a dark pout. Simple and chic, right?
Want more beauty tips? Check out the video below, and be sure to subscribe to Bustle’s YouTube page for more hacks and tricks!
Images: Warner Bros Television (1); Courtesy Brands