Do you ever wish vaginal yeast was good for something other than getting out of whack and making your ladybits itchier than a bedbug-infested motel mattress? If so, you might be interested in taking a cue from British blogger Zoe Stavri, who made bread from her vaginal yeast earlier this week. Sure, it's unorthodox, but think of its potential for a conversation piece during the holidays this year — and probably for decades afterward, if we're being honest. Who wouldn't want to go down in family history as combination Vodka/Vaginal Yeast Aunt?
All jokes aside, most people's initial reaction to such an idea is probably horrified disgust: How on earth can you safely make food using vaginal secretions? However, Stavri claimed on her blog, Another Angry Woman, that any vaginal bacteria would be killed off during baking. In effect, it's "almost certainly no more gross than regular sourdough starter," she wrote, although it should be noted that some food scientists would disagree.
Of course, this still begs the question of why you would do such a thing, but before we proceed, a word of warning: We're about to get even more NSFW. Like, slam-your-laptop-closed-around-Mom NSFW. Got it? OK.
Like Cecilia Westbrook, the M.D./PhD student who made yogurt from her own vaginal yeast earlier this year, Stavri's experiment was the result of simple curiosity. "It all started with a fatal combination of a slightly perverse sense of humour, a keenly scientific mind, and touch of the thrush... The next thing that happened was I was scraping white goop off a dildo into a bowl of flour mixed with water," Stavri wrote, documenting the process on Twitter as well.
As the experiment proceeded, however, her account was flooded with criticism from horrified users.
However, Stavri wryly pointed out that their horror had less to do with food safety concerns and more to do with the knee-jerk disgust directed at vaginas. "I am very interested to note how many people are horrified at the very notion that something may have once been near a vagina," she wrote. (Similarly, Westbrook noted to the Huffington Post that she was "surprised" by the lack of information regarding vaginal flora during her vaginal yeast yogurt experiment, which could contribute to such violently negative reactions.)
As important it is to discuss the misinformation and mystification surrounding vaginas, though, I digress. Stavri herself says that her experiment wasn't any sort of feminist statement; she just wanted to know if it would work. Against all odds, that's exactly what happened — after a few mishaps, of course. But eventually, Stavri's yeast did what yeast does best: Making delicious bread, which she enjoyed with a little butter, tomato, and some mozarella.
Images: Chris Lott/Flickr, Giphy (1)