Just when we were getting comfy with the latest crop of Bravo shows, the channel announced that two brand new reality programs will premiere in March: Southern Charm and Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. YES. Keep pumping 'em out, Bravo. Sure, there are only 24 hours in a day, but I will always make time for a new reality show or two. So, what are the shows about? Dudes and relationships. Yes, there are women in the main cast of Southern Charm, but the "Peter. Pan. Syn. Drome." men seem to be the focus of the series. In Online Dating Rituals of the American Male (a title that sounds like it could belong to a Secret Life of the American Teenager spinoff), men search for partners and hookups via the Internet. Dudes be getting their date on. Both shows look like they could be interesting, but I've yet to mark my calendar. I'll get around to it.
Here are the trailers (and my favorite moments). I live for reality TV show trailers, so you can be sure I ate these up:
Southern Charm (March 3)
Southern Charm will follow the lives of six people in South Carolina. They are single. They are fancy. They are rich.
0:11 Oh, I want to go to there.
0:15 What's that sheer robe blanket thing? It looks like something an eccentric billionaire would wear while she eats a really messy egg sandwich. I want it.
0:24 "It's a playground for men who never want to grow up." I don't know about this show.
0:34 "A southern gentleman should not curse." I'd make a terrible southern gentleman.
0:40 That guy yelling "TUXEDO SPEEDO" made me grin involuntarily.
1:39 "Are you tough?" "I'm tough." "You just look a little fragile." Real talk, Charleston-style.
1:50 Someone's pregnant? Crap, I'm totally invested now.
WILL I WATCH?: A show that promises lust, betrayal, AND judgment? I can't not give the pilot a chance. At the very least, the scenery will be pretty.
Online Dating Rituals of the American Male (March 9)
0:05 "If she is a brunette, the best she can be is an 8." UHHHHH WHAT?!?!?! No no no no no no.
0:22 "In order to take a good selfie, it all starts with a good face." Can this guy make a selfie PSA? I think he could do the world a lot of good.
0:25 "Holy ginger snap, that man." Great. I can't stop saying "Holy ginger snap, that man."
0:38 What's this blowdryer scene all about?
WILL I WATCH?: I'm dying to know what that guy was doing with that blowdryer, so yes. I will watch.