Thank you for joining me for another installment of Pop Culture Detective. For today's case, I'll be taking on possible plot lines for the video for Zayn Malik's song "BeFour." This is a tricky task, and it will require all my wits and my best magnifying glass, because the only information that we have about this as-yet unreleased song is a single promo photo from the video. But this situation is so important that we can't let the first obstacle stop us. This is Zayn Malik's first solo track since leaving One Direction ! It all hangs in the balance here, so cancel all my meetings and push back all my appointments, Mrs. Landingham, because I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do. Today. Not including dinner.
Oh, I'm sorry, do you have something better to do? You don't like speculation? I guess you live in a world where all the celebrities aren't still in their turkey comas? Or maybe you already have access to Malik's new song because you're a magical angel baby? Well, that's bully for you, but the rest of us are stuck here in reality, so we're gonna have to work with what we've got. Speculation, engage! Here are seven possible plot lines for Zayn Malik's solo music video, based on the single promo photo we have for it.
1. Father Of Dragons
Think Game Of Thrones, with Malik as either a counterpart to Daenerys Targaryen who can also hatch dragons, or a lil baby dragon himself hatching out of a fire egg.
2. The Little Match Girl
You know that terribly depressing story where that little girl is selling matches in the snow, and she's peering through the window at a family, warm and fed around the fire? What if 1D is that family, and he's out in the cold?
3. A Phoenix Rising From The Ashes
He's out on his own for the first time, coming through his breakup with Perrie Edwards, to whom he was engaged... maybe he'll take the angle that his life had to burn to the ground a little bit for him to emerge from the ashes like a big powerful bird again.
4. The End Of The World
In Malik's Facebook post, the caption that he put up with the photo is "BeFour the lights go out," so maybe it's an end of the world kind of thing, like what happens when we all lose electricity and the creature comforts we're used to. Finding love in a hopeless place, and whatnot. You get it.
5. An Exorcism
I know those things in front look like flames, but what if they're a spirit? Maybe they've been living inside Malik, just wanting to come out, and he has to sing himself back to life. (I don't know you guys, it was one photo.)
6. Sharing Stories Around A Campfire
Please don't ask me why this is so far down on the list; it truly just occurred to me just now. That's right, dragon eggs occurred to me before a regular human being sitting around a campfire. What is my life?
7. The Human Torch
Maybe he's the Human Torch and we're going to get a remake of The Fantastic Four the same year as the remake of The Fantastic Four? Sorry Michael B. Jordan and Kate Mara, but Zayn Malik's gonna make it all better in his version.
I don't know about you, but I think some of those ideas are actually pretty plausible! Here's hoping that Zayn Malik puts out the song soon, so I can check my guesses against the real thing.