How doth one properly pay tribute to the annual tradition that is the Eight Days of Destiny’s Child Christmas? With a pair of Chloé shades. Or a diamond belly ring. Or a nice back rub. Or a foot massage. Or a cropped jacket. Or a pair of dirty denim jeans. Or a poem. Or any of the other gift options oh-so conveniently listed throughout the title track off of Destiny’s Child’s Christmas album, 8 Days of Christmas. And how doth one properly shop for the annual tradition that is the Eight Days of Destiny's Child Christmas? By adhering to the practices outlined in the music video for “8 Days of Christmas" by Destiny's Child.
In the Sanaa Hamri-directed clip, the forever iconic trio descends upon a toy store, loads up some shopping carts, and hands out gifts to a group of kids. (Sidebar: If I was one of those lucky children, I'd totally put "Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, and Michelle Williams gave me a Christmas gift in a music video once" on my resumé.) It is more or less an Eight Days of Destiny's Child Christmas Shopping how-to guide.
Here are some of the elements from the “8 Days Of Christmas” music video that will ensure a very merry Destiny's Child holiday shopping experience:
Holiday Shopping Tradition #1
Coordinate with your holiday shopping crew. If your outfits don't match, you might as well just stay home.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #2
Ask the store's manager if you can flip the “OPEN” sign over. Tell them it's for Destiny's Child. If the shopkeeper says no/kicks you out/bans you from the store until the end of time, scream-sing the "8 Days of Christmas" chorus as you scamper to the food court. (Go get treat yourself to a Cinnabon. You earned it, you mischief-maker.)
Holiday Shopping Tradition #3
Wear elbow-length, fur-trimmed Santa gloves. Never stop pointing at displays. Really show off the gloves.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #4
Twirl up and down the aisles. (Don't want to get dizzy? Channel your inner Cooper Nielsen and spot as you turn.)
Holiday Shopping Tradition #5
Find an ornament that’s the size of your face.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #6
Take a lap or two on a mall carousel.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #7
Go for a swim in a sea of bubbles.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #8
Toss a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift up in the air.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #9
Acquire holly berry red highlights before you hit the mall.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #10
Do some chill choreo with your friends in front of the store Christmas tree.
Holiday Shopping Tradition #11
Steal your friends’ Santa hats mid-group hug. A punky, albeit simple prank!
Holiday Shopping Tradition #12
Admire a Beanie Babies display. If you take the Eight Days of Destiny's Child Christmas seriously, you will not rest until you find a toy store shelf that's loaded up to the gills with the Ty collectables.
And on the ninth day of Christmas? Beanie Babies. So many Beanie Babies.
Images: Destiny's Child/YouTube via Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (12)