One of the many joys of being in a relationship is being able to be the real true you. Your partner is going to see all sides of you — the good, the bad, and the ugly. That’s what being in a partnership is all about. You love your other half for all of his or her sides, even the annoying ones. Even if you can’t stand how your partner eats with their mouth open or always talks during movies, you still can’t imagine being with anyone else. No morning breath or stupid joke could take you away from your person.
With that being said, I’ve been in some relationships where I didn't feel comfortable being my true self. That’s when you know this isn’t going to be a forever kind of love. If you find yourself holding back, that’s a warning sign. Sure, in the beginning of a relationship, you both are easing into revealing things about yourself. You’re not going to talk about your bowel movements on day one, let's be real. But, if the relationship is progressing but you still feel like you have to hide parts of you, you may want to rethink what’s going on. Having a graduate degree in counseling psychology has made me realize just how crucial it is to be your authentic self in a relationship. Because if you can’t be, then what’s the point? Here are some things that you should feel comfortable doing in your relationship.
Everyone likes to get down with their bad selves. Even if you’re no Leonardo Dicaprio, you should still feel comfortable dancing in front of or with your partner. I’m not talking about knowing how to ballroom dance; I mean just enjoying yourself and being silly. If you feel completely fine getting fully nude in front of your other half, you should at least be able to get loose on the dance floor.
2. Speaking Up
Being able to say what’s on your mind and speaking up for yourself is crucial in any partnership. If you don’t feel as if you can voice your opinion with your significant other, that’s a huge red flag. I know it’s easier said than done saying things that are hard for your girlfriend or boyfriend to hear, but if you stay silent it can be much more harmful.
3. Telling Them What You Want
Like I mentioned, speaking up is key in a relationship. This includes speaking up in the bedroom as well. You should feel completely comfortable telling your partner all of your wants and desires. You should feel at ease showing your partner who you are sexually and having fun with it. If you don’t, start out small and let yourself warm up to it. You’ll be much happier if you’re actually getting what you want, too.
4. Doing Things By Yourself
Going shopping together, working out as a couple, and getting groceries together can be delightful. With that being said, there’s something to be said for doing things on your own as well. You should feel completely comfortable being able to go eat out alone, go to a movie by yourself, or go on a solo run.
5. Showing The Real You
If you are constantly feeling like you’re putting up a front with your other half, that’s not a good sign. You should feel at ease when you’re together and it should never feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time
Listen, I’m not Adele — in fact, I’m far from her. But I can still sing at the top of my lungs with my partner and he loves me even more for my effort. This isn't really as much about singing itself as it is about being vulnerable around each other and willing to show your silly side without feeling self conscious.
Relationships aren’t always going to perfect. In fact, there’s no such thing as perfect. You will have moments of unhappiness, uncomfortable conversations, and unpleasant emotions. You are going to need to feel comfortable having arguments and disagreements, because that’s how you two will build a stronger relationship.
If you aren't already totally comfortable in your relationship, maybe it's worth exploring why that is and having an open and honest conversation with your partner about how to get closer.
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