These Mermaid Tail Blankets Are Your Chance To Finally Be A ~Part Of That World~
Imagine the movie The Little Mermaid in reverse, and you've basically got my entire adult life — forget these legs, y'all, I was meant to be a mermaid. And now the universe has finally respected my wishes with these blankets that look like mermaid tails, aka the actual dream of every would-be Disney princess in existence. Etsy seller CassJamesDesign has capitalized on all our hopes and dreams with her handmade crochet blankets, which are too cozy for your land-dwelling eyes. While there is a 6-8 week hold on them right now (oddly, I am not the only human who wants to get their inner mermaid on while binge-watching 30 Rock reruns), I imagine meeting your destiny is well worth the wait.
The blankets come in an array of different sizes and colors, so everyone can enjoy the smug snugness of being a part of Triton's kingdom. It'll keep your feet warm while you're aggressively pretending not to gave feet. Side effects may include bursting into song with sea creatures, talking to seagulls, and brushing your hair with a fork. But all of that is well worth the risk once you feast your eyes on the future of Netflix and chill, Disney princess style:
You know what? In light of this I've decided to just quit my life and do everything I need to do from inside of one of these. Why work from home when you can work from fin? I'm assuming that the magical powers I will inherit just from wrapping this around my person will more than make up for my lack of social life. Look how happy you could make yourself by owning one of these:
If anybody needs me I'll be befriending a crab and following my mer-bliss. The blankets are available on Etsy here.