By now you're probably well aware that Shia LaBeouf is reachable by phone. That's right — there is a phone number you can call him on right now, and he might actually answer. While I have yet to be successful in my quest to speak to Shia LaBeouf on the phone, I continue to hit redial, and will over the next few days as he takes calls alongside his art collective LaBeouf, Rönkkö & Turner at the venue FACT in Liverpool, UK. Called #TOUCHMYSOUL, LaBeouf and co. invite members of the general public to call them on +44 (0)151 808 0771, between the hours of 6 a.m. EST and 1 p.m. EST. Set your alarms, people.
The press release for #TOUCHMYSOUL says, "We’re more connected than ever before. Able to interact with friends, public figures and even foes over the internet each day, what impact is this having on how we understand our relationships with those around us, and the ways our emotional cores are configured?" While these are all valid concerns for LaBeouf's art collective to have, I'm mainly interested in the fact that I can speak to actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf, like, for reals. Having dialed many, many, many, many, many times onThursday without any success, here's what it's like trying to get through to Shia LaBeouf. It's giving me all of the feels.
1. OMG! I Have Shia LaBeouf's Phone Number!
This is possibly the best day ever. I have a direct line to Shia LaBeouf. I must call him immediately.
2. Start Romanticizing It
I imagine all the conversations I will have with Shia LaBeouf. He'll love talking to me so much that he'll ignore all other calls. We'll have an instant connection.
3. Prepare To Dial Shia LaBeouf's Number
More important than any of the hot guys who ever gave me their numbers, as soon as the time rolls around, I compose myself and prepare to dial.
4. Get All The Numbers Right
Perhaps the most important mission I've ever had in my life, I stare at my phone, making sure all of LaBeouf's digits are present and correct. I take a deep breath, nerves setting in, and I realize it's now or never.
5. Rehearse Perfect First Line In Head
Waiting for the phone to connect to LaBeouf gives me time to try out the perfect first lines in my head.
6. What I'm Actually Feeling
I'm sure I'm not alone, either.
7. The Phone Line Is Engaged
I guess everyone is calling Shia LaBeouf right now? Time to try again.
8. Still Engaged
My heart catches in my throat as I dial for a second time but... the line is still engaged. Disappointment smacks me down again.
9. Dial 50 More Times
No one likes a quitter.
10. Patience Is A Virtue
I've never been a patient person, but phoning Shia LeBeouf requires real gumption.
11. Start Imagining What Would Happen If He Actually Answered
All it takes is one moment to change EVERYTHING.
12. Think Up Loads Of Great Questions For Shia LaBeouf
The engaged tone gives me plenty of time to think up cute things to say.
13. Practice A Sexy Voice
As the day goes on, I work on my composure.
14. Realistically I Sound More Like...
Not everything goes to plan, does it?
15. Shia LaBeouf's Number Is Engaged The Entire First Day
I get it. The entire WORLD is calling him right now. But what about ME?
16. Waiting By The Phone Like
I'm under no illusion about what my obsession looks like.
17. Self-Doubt Creeps In
Maybe LaBeouf is screening his calls?
18. Eventually, I Hang Up For Good
It's nearing the end of LaBeouf's day, and he's done taking calls. He needs a rest from talking to crazy fans like me.
19. I Send Him My Best Wishes
I might not get to speak to LaBeouf during his first day of #TOUCHMYSOUL, but, having dialed his number, I'm part of the experience. I send him my love and all good vibes.
20. The Melancholy Is Real
21. Remind Self That Tomorrow Is Another Day
And another day means another chance to call Shia LaBeouf. Never give up. Never surrender.
Images: Giphy (22)