Whether you're single and looking, dating around, or are in a committed relationship, getting love advice from people you trust can help put your love dilemmas into perspective. After all, they've been there, they (somewhat) know what you're going through, and they just want whatever is best and will make you happy.
Relationships with a romantic partner can be the single greatest thing in the world, as well as the single most frustrating. Because of that, many people have no problem venting out relationship issues to anyone who will listen — at least, that’s what I tend to do anyway. The funny thing is, when it comes to matters of the heart, people around you suddenly turn into love gurus who have no problem giving you their insight — no matter how bad it may be. When we want something to work out so bad, we'll try to receive any form of help necessary to make it work.
Because of that, I talked to 13 love experts, ranging from relationship therapists to matchmakers and more, on the best pieces of love advice they've learned or give their clients. Hopefully you'll find one that resonates with you and lead you on the key to the relationship that you want.
1. Eric Garrison, Clinical Sexologist And Author Of Mastering Multiple Position Sex
"Don't let fear be the guiding factor in the bedroom or outside the bedroom. Find a positive value in your life, and let that guide you instead."
2. Maria Avgitidis, Matchmaker at AgapeMatch.com
"The person you are meant to be with has a similar lifestyle to you. They’ll have the same taste in how they spend their time and the same taste in how they spend their money. Re-evaluate your lifestyle. Is it conducive to meeting someone special? If it’s work-home-work-home, chances are you need a lifestyle makeover! Once you’ve got that in check, Mr. or Mrs. Perfect is right around the corner just waiting for you."
3. Spike Spencer, Creator Of "Don't Kill Your Date (And Other Cooking Tips)"
"Say you're sorry fast. Mean it. Say it once. If you screw up, as you undoubtedly will, man up, own it, and apologize. But only do it once. Make it a good apology. Followed by a really good kiss can't hurt."
4. Michelle Farris, Licensed Psychotherapist And Author Of The 4 Essential Steps To Building Your Confidence
"The one quality that impacts relationships the most is being accountable. When you can admit your mistakes it gets rid of blame and invites the other person to do the same. Think about the relationships in your life that are the most fulfilling. You are open and less defensive. You're willing to look at yourself and not just blame the other person."
5. Veronica Swett Of Elite Connections
"Lose your 'type.' People dismiss too many possible matches because they don’t match their checklist they have written for themselves. They are limiting who they meet based on their own judgment. If people become more open to who they are willing to meet they surprise themselves at the different personalities they can be attracted to. The saying “opposites attract” is a known quote for a reason."
6. Aniesa M. Schneberger, Licensed Couples Counselor
"Do you want to be right or do you want to be alone? Being 'right' all the time isn't always the best for your relationship. Remember compromise is key to success."
7. Patty Blue Hayes, Life Coach And Author Of Wine, Sex And Suicide - My Near Death Divorce
"Love yourself first. Self-love is the first love. If we do not honor, respect, value and appreciate ourselves, no one else will. Our partner will only mirror back to us how we feel about ourselves. We must look within for our own happiness and fulfillment first and not make the mistake of relying on someone else to make us happy."
8. Rosalinda Randall, Civility And Etiquette Expert
"Sorry, but it's not always 50-50; when it's real, you don't need to keep score. There isn’t one relationship in the world that is always maintained at a 50-50 level. When it comes to a love-relationship, keeping score is fatal to what could have been a passion-filled night."
9. Kelley Kitley, LCSW Owner Of Serendipitous Psychotherapy, LLC
"Relationships take effort. Often times people think it 'should' come natural and if you have to 'work' at them you aren’t with the right person. FALSE. Both individuals will be left feeling disappointed if you don’t nourish them. Manage expectations through communication. Have sex at least once a week and schedule it! Take a trip together, and learn what each others Love Languages are."
10. Jonathan Bennett, Certified Counselor, Dating, And Relationship Coach
"Attraction isn't rational; quit acting like it is."
11. Regina A. DeMeo, Matrimonial Attorney
"Don't take your love for granted. Love is like a plant, it needs to be nurtured so it will continue to grow. Without water and sunlight, it will die. This is why it is so important to make time for things like date night, whether it is once a week or once a month. The key is to continue to make the other one feel special and loved — to enjoy each other's company and have fun."
12. Michael Bloomberg, Marriage Proposal Consultant And The Romance CEO
"Whether it is a professional athlete or a CEO, when I ask my clients, 'Why her?'...the feedback is almost always the same. TEARS! Seriously, big burly guys that you would never imagine being emotional. The response is often they are just grateful for her. Grateful she let him in his life. Grateful of a specific experience the two shared. Simply, a large of amount of gratitude which led to him wanting to spend eternity with his chosen one. Even without a partner, studies show that when we are grateful, The Universe gladly makes more show up in your life for which to be grateful. Next up for you...a +1!"
13. Dr. Fran Wolfish, Beverly Hills Relationship Psychotherapist and co-star of Sex Box on WE tv
"Never underestimate the power of love."
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
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