As the 2016 election draws even closer, Saturday Night Live has been ramping up the political comedy with cold opens that often mock candidates and the overabundance of debates they can be seen on. It's been quite a few years since one familiar face decided to return to the political sphere but on the Dec. 12 episode of SNL, everyone's favorite great decider finally came back. Fans gladly welcomed the return of Will Ferrell as George W. Bush taking on the GOP in a brilliant cold open. "Bush" had some choice words for Republican presidential hopefuls. "The field of Republicans out there is so messed up I figured it makes you miss me doesn't it? And that's saying a lot," Ferrell joked.
He took on high-profile front-runners like Donald Trump and Ben Carson as well as his own brother, Jeb. Ferrell so effortlessly melds into the role of the 43rd president, it's as if he's actively campaigning despite having left office nearly two terms ago. If the real George W. Bush did take a more active interest in politics, he'd undoubtedly have some advice for the candidates currently vying for his old job. Ferrell's insights — spot-on as they are — will just have to do for now.
The biggest issue with Ben Carson? The inability to understand him. Carson's quiet approach gets taken to task along with his impressive medical credentials. Speaking a little too loudly, Ferrell said:
I can barely hear him when he talks. I tell ya something that's not gonna work when you go to China or Azerbaijan where you have to talk loudly so they will understand. Not to mention he's some kind of brain surgeon and I got news for him — running the country is not some kind of brain surgery. Trust me, I know.
Hilariously, the criticisms against Carly Fiorina is mostly that she's not George W. Bush. Fiorina joins a surprisingly hefty list of candidates who have no prior political experience yet still retain an avid following just the same. Ferrell isn't buying that, for all her public failures, she'll run a successful campaign, however. Ferrell said:
I like Carly. She's got guts. She got fired from her job. She got her butt kicked in a Senate race. She's not qualified in any way to be president. In many ways she reminds me of me, but she isn't me. I am me.
Ted Cruz & Marco Rubio
Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio get lumped together because, well, Ferrell's George W. Bush pretty much finds them interchangeable. He also takes a surprisingly progressive stance on immigration, going one step further in divulging his go-to order from Tex-Mex chain Chevy's. Ferrell said:
These two guys — the sons of immigrants — hate immigrants. I, for one, like the Mexican people. They are my amigos. Tex-Mex is my favorite kind of food. I enjoy the slow-roasted carnitas at Chevy's. Laura always orders the baja sampler with the blue grab enchiladas. The way I see it, unless your name is Running Bear or Chief Two Rivers, we are all anchor babies. That's something to think about.
The sheer fact that GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump is Ferrell-as-Bush's go-to pick me up certainly says a lot about the seriousness of the candidate. Ferrell doubles over laughing at Trump, finally composing himself and saying that "whenever I get in a bad mood I picture his big fat orange Oompa Loompa face and I just piss my pants." The humor keeps going once Ferrell tears into Trump's proposed ban of allowing Muslims into the country:
Now he says he wants to keep all the Muslims out. Yeah. Great idea. That's impossible to implement and not what this country's about. That's like saying let's keep all the leprechauns out. We tried tiny leprechaun internment camps in the late 1920s and as you all know it totally backfired. Leprechaun relations have never recovered since. That's why they are so hard to find. I'm serious. When was the last time you saw a leprechaun? I say no thanks to Donald Trump.
Of course George W. Bush would take issue with his brother. Though Ferrell praises the candidate for being "an insider who knows how to govern," he's still wholly unimpressed with Jeb's campaign. Ferrell as Bush said:
Oh boy. Poor Jeb. You've gotta admit, it's a pretty good plot twist that I turned out to be the smart one. Of course, I wish he would've asked me about the exclamation point on the end of his name. Look, I don't like the taste of broccoli but it doesn't get any tastier if you call it broccoli!
The Republican Party
Before fully making his case to once again be president, Ferrell's Bush praises his brother for actually having some type of political background before lamenting that "the Republicans don't want that. They want someone who is coo coo for Cocoa Puffs." Given the fanfare leading up to the 2016 election, Ferrell may very well be right. Watch the full clip of his cold open below and take in the last political advice he has as he sets his sights on the White House:
Running a government is kind of like driving a school bus. You don't want a crazy person driving that bus. You want a simple, underachieving, not very educated but reliable guy behind that wheel. Someone with a steady hand who will be on time and will get into one or two but no more than four accidents a year. You already know that someone and that someone is me.