How To Prepare For An Adele Concert

It’s been a whirlwind few months since Adele made a ferocious comeback by releasing “Hello,” with the world receiving the British songstress with open arms and the drunk calls to our exes rate surging higher than ever. Expect more chaos and bad decisions: Adele announced a 2016 North America tour. Which, if you’re from North America (like yours truly) is pretty much the greatest new in the world ever. So how do you prepare for this momentous occasion?

Because it’s not just a concert, kids, it’s an Adele concert. And, let’s be real, it’s been about forever since she last went on tour. What if she calls it quits after this one? What if she goes into another hibernation, and we’re left to deal with break ups on our own for an indefinitely long time? We have to seize the moment. But, more importantly, we have to do it right. So I looked into the future and lined up all the necessary steps you’ll have to take when it comes to prepping for the Adele concert. And, yes, I’m so considerate that I even prepped you for all the speed bumps along the way.

Read on, and you’ll be 112 percent ready for the main event.

1. Collapse Into Heaping Sobs Of Joy

Whether you caught her around or not, this is an announcement that thrusts you into an emotional whirlwind.

2. Call Out Of Work So You Can Dedicate Your Energy To Getting Tickets

"Yeah, no, sorry, I won't be able to come into work on December 17, I... will be sick... achoo..."

3. Wake Up At 6 a.m. To Acquire Tickets At 10 a.m. The Day They Go On Sale

You wanna camp out on Adele's website first thing in the morning. The early bird catches the worm, and you're gonna be the earliest worm there is.

4. Start Refreshing Rapidly At 9:59 a.m. And Continue Until You're Able To Purchase Tickets

Ah! There it is! There's the purchase button! You go this!

5. Pause For Nervous Breakdown When The Website Inevitably Implodes On Itself

No, no, no, no, no, oh my god, it's Lana Del Rey's Endless Summer tour all over again.

6. Scream To The Heavens When It Gets Sold Out

I think if you're at least mentally prepared for it you'll scream... half as loud as you would've if it came as a shock.

7. Debate If You Want To Make Rent Or If You Want To See Adele When Looking Up Tickets On StubHub

Or, third option, if you want to ask your parents for a $300 ticket as a Christmas present.

8. Either Way, Get Those Tickets

And let the relief wash over you in a beautiful, majestic wave.

9. Load Up On Hairspray

For the next several months this is mostly what you're going to be doing.

10. Practice Your Perfect Cat Eye

Or, if you're me, watch a ton of Adele make-up tutorials on YouTube, realize you're not skilled in that area, and get one of your beauty-savvy friends to do it.

11. Call Out Of Work For The Day Of The Concert

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't be in on the December 23, it's just... our family dog... Lapooh..."

12. Pack Up Your Tissues

One or two or seven large boxes should do it.

12. Yelp A Cocktail Bar Before The Concert Before Deciding You Don't Want To Spend $18 On A Martini

"Bleh, I can't do this, I'll just drink at the venue."

13. End Up Drinking A Bottle Of Barefoot Pinot Grig Before The Show

Hearsay is that it's $12 for a Miller Lite at the arena, so um... hard pass.

14. Have Your Friend Confiscate Your Phone

So you can't drunk dial your ex while Adele croons in your ear.

15. Roll Up At The Concert And Start Getting Into Impassioned Fights About Who Loves Adele Most

OMG, you listened to 19 like waaaay before anyone knew who Adele was.

16. Sit Down, Relax, And Let The Adele's Soulful Voice Take You On A Magic Journey

A magic journey that will still inevitably end with you drunk dialing your ex after your show, despite your friend's best efforts of hiding your phone in her jacket's inner-lining. Oh, well.

And that's all there is to it! Have fun, and enjoy the angst!

Images: Giphy (16)