What's the aftermath of being left home alone? Really, think about it. As much as everyone, including myself, loves Home Alone, do you think it affected Kevin McCallister at all? I mean, when an 8-year-old boy is left home all by himself and forgotten by his family during Christmastime, that has to leave some type of mark. Well, it did. Adult Kevin McCallister is proof Home Alone screwed him up — bad.
As part of the new YouTube series :DRYVRS, Macaulay Culkin stars as adult Kevin McCallister in the premiere episode ("Just Me in the House by Myself") alongside creator Jack Dishel. The web series is inspired by Über and Lyft, and shows Dishel meeting some pretty interesting drivers through a ride-sharing app.
Enter Culkin as a grown-up Kevin, who is not only married to his childhood sweetheart Anna, but is still greatly affected by that time he was left home alone, his house was invaded by robbers Harry and Marv, and he had to pull out some serious MacGyver skills, which actually come in handy during the episode.
As upsetting it is to see Kevin in this manner, to hear him use the F-word left and right, to learn he doesn't even know how to drive (way to go Kate and Peter), and to see that he's actually kind of creepy (just wait to the somewhat bloody end), he totally relates to every Home Alone fan out there. Basically, he says what every person is thinking every time they watch the movie. Check it out.
When He Gets Angry About Being Forgotten
Every fan all the time: "And they forget their 8-year-old-f*cking son. They're 8-year-old son. All by yourself. In the house. For a week. I had to fend off my house from two psychopath home invaders. I was just a kid."
When He's Confused About Harry & Marv
In addition to still having nightmares about the "bald weirdo dude" chasing him around the house, Kevin still can't believe one thing. He says, "They don't even curse." Good point, Kevin. However, seeing as it was a family movie, they wouldn't do that, but still.
When He Vents About Buzz... Woof
Raise your hand if you can't stand Buzz? Everyone? Now that that survey is completed, here's what Kevin thinks: "They remembered my bat sh*t of a brother, you know? But, they forget me. You know, the cutest f*cking eight year old in the universe — by far." Seriously, the cutest kid ever!
When He Slams His Mom
Kate, you might love Kevin and have tried to get home to him, but that doesn't fly with your now adult son. "She didn't care, man," he says. "She was too busy being like a groupie to a polka band or something like that. I've never even gotten the whole story."
When He Can't Even With The Pizza Situation
The scene with the cheese pizza still infuriates me, and Kevin agrees: "It's just that my house was a f*cking zoo, I couldn't even eat a slice of pizza without even having to go to war or something like that."
Basically, this is Kevin now and it makes my heart hurt. Kate and Peter, you are nothing but filthy animals.