If you thought Star Wars was one of the few topics Donald Trump hadn't involved himself in, you were very wrong. The Force Awakens hit theaters Friday, and in a 2006 trailer for his reality show, The Apprentice, Trump fired Chewbacca and killed multiple Stormtroopers, the Chicago Sun-Times reminded us this week. It will probably come as no surprise that Trump sided with Darth Vader in the video, telling him, "I like your style."
In the NBC trailer, Trump rebrands the Death Star as the "Trump Death Star" in true Trump fashion, and tries to motivate Vader and his Stormtroopers to sell the Empire's ultimate weapon. "You tell them this is the biggest, the best, absolutely the most technologically sophisticated battle station ever in the entire galaxy!" Trump says, sitting across from Vader in a conference room. "It’s not just any Death Star, it's the Trump Death Star!" After the deal is ruined, a Stormtrooper tells Trump that Vader was in charge of marketing, blaming him for the failure. Obviously, that was the wrong move, and Vader forces said Stormtrooper to take the blame. As Trump fires the Stormtroopers, Vader teaches him how to use the Force to kill them, and Trump says, "I really like that." Too bad Trump can't use the Force to get rid of his presidential opponents.
With the Stormtroopers killed off, Chewbacca enters the conference room only to be fired by Trump. Luckily, the hairy Wookiee warrior isn't killed, but Trump tells him: "I'm sorry, but you made this easy. No one can understand a word you say, you've got a terrible temper, and — let's face it — your grooming habits are seriously lacking." Chewbacca realizes the irony in Trump criticizing his hair, and as he drives away in a cab, says (in subtitles of course): "Bad grooming habits? What's that on HIS head? A squirrel?" That's a question I've been asking myself for years, Chewbacca — America is just as confused as you are.
The only thing missing from this throwback Star Wars video? Lightsabers. Trump swinging a glowing lightsaber around his fancy mahogany-covered conference room would be a fantastic sight.
Since this declaration of admiration for Vader, Trump has been compared to Lord Voldemort — so, he's just working his way through America's most hated fictional villains, or perhaps trying to become the villain of the 2016 election. If only the next presidential debate could be Star Wars-themed, Trump could showcase his Vader-esque tendencies once again.
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