"Unsexy." "Unflattering." "Outdated." These are words often used to describe granny panties. But when I wore granny panties for two whole weeks, my analysis was actually quite different. Switching my boy shorts and thongs for roomier, high-waisted granny knickers certainly required an adjustment in my mentality. But all in all, the experiment gave me more appreciation for the classic undergarment silhouette. And it taught me to, well, never judge a panty by its nickname.
I am no underwear aficionado, but it doesn't take a professional to gauge the well-established sentiment against granny panties. The high-waisted, baggy-in-the-butt briefs are regularly thought to be everything you wouldn't want in an undergarment. Few Millennials seem to appreciate the utility granny panties actually offer, choosing instead to lump them into an ageist category of underthing castaways. Before embarking on this experiment, I was well aware of this stigma. But as someone who's not particularly picky about their panties, I was interested to see how wearing granny ones might affect me in the day-to-day.
And so my curiosity about granny panties led me to wearing them for two weeks. I'd soon learn that they would affect my confidence, style, and my relationship — here's how.
I have long been a fan of high-waisted pants and skirts and the way they help accentuate my curves. Yet I feared that high-waisted panties would make me feel like my curves were being obscured rather than flaunted. To my delight, said curves were actually especially highlighted when wearing high-waisted granny panties.
The granny panties fit me well around my bottom and created a smooth foundation for whatever clothing I was wearing that day. From pants to mini skirts, the granny panties worked surprisingly well underneath my clothes, even offering extra coverage and warmth on chillier days. I thought I would have to restrict what I was wearing because of the extra fabric. But with my mostly high-waisted wardrobe, they couldn't have worked better.
My only complaint was that when I didn't wear something high-waisted, like my favorite skinny jeans, I had to deal with my panties going up higher than the top of my bottoms. This happened a few times during the experiment, but it wasn't enough of a problem to discourage what was a blossoming granny panty romance.
Society loves to tell us that women who've experienced menopause don't bang anymore, and so their granny panties aren't something sexually active younglings should ever opt for. Of course, this isn't remotely true. So the whole not-conducive-to-sex idea imposed onto granny panties just isn't valid.
I know that sexy underwear like thongs and G-strings can definitely set a mood, but how would granny panties compare? I decided to test my theory out with my boyfriend.
Once my boyfriend got a glance at the high-waisted, butt-covering beauties, he asked, "What are those?" clearly taken aback by my new choice in underthings. I briefly explained to him that they were part of an experiment, and he replied, "Whatever you say." Everything after that point went down as per usual, but it was certainly interesting to see his initial negative reaction, followed by a complete disregard for the underwear. Sure, granny panties may have a bad reputation for being "unsexy," but that means nothing when you're in the moment. After all, panties come off, amirite?
3. Body Positivity
While I originally worried that granny panties would make me feel like hiding under the covers and never changing out of my sweatpants, they actually did quite the opposite. Although I'm slender, I have a pretty curvy body with wide hips, thick thighs, and broad shoulders. Even though I — like everyone else — can get self-conscious about some things, I'm not shy about getting dressed to flaunt my curves.
Surprisingly, though, granny panties didn't detract from this. In fact, wearing them made me appreciate my figure even more. While I typically wear thongs and boy shorts, those pieces always squeeze me too tight at the hips, causing my love handles to distort into unusual shapes. Quite frankly, granny panties fit me better than any other undie I have ever worn.
Instead of squeezing or cutting in my skin, the granny panties hugged my wide hips, accentuated my smaller waist, and made my butt look, well, pretty amazing. My cheeks felt glorious under the thick fabric, I appreciated my stretch marks peeking out, and my broad hips looked great against my waist with the high line of the panties. Yep, I felt more body positive than I ever thought I could.
By this point, you can probably guess that my confidence level was at a 10/10 when rocking the granny panties. Even though my boyfriend wasn't as pumped about the knickers as much as I was, I felt very positive and self-loving throughout the whole experiment.
Sure, these undies are definitely more about utility and function than they are sexiness or aesthetic allure. But even so, wearing uncomfortable, lacy underwear that's basically just a strip of too-tight fabric doesn't necessarily mean you'll feel confident, even if that's what society likes to teach us.
Confidence means different things for different people. But to me, it was looking a whole lot like granny panties.
Will I Wear Them Again?
After the two-week period of wearing granny panties, not only did I love how the undies looked on me, but I just adored how they made me feel. Despite my partner's random (albeit short-lived) reaction and the panties showing from underneath my low-waisted clothes, I had a really positive experience with these babies. I can now say with confidence that the reputation they get for being ugly, outdated, or unsexy is totally flawed. To me, wearing granny panties gave me confidence, reminded me to love my body, and provided all the function I need from my underpants.
So while I'll keep my thongs and G-strings in my underwear drawers, I will also be rocking my granny panties on a regular basis moving forward. No matter what anyone thinks or says, granny panties make me feel fabulous.
Seriously, have you ever seen anyone look as happy as I am when holding a pair? Nope, didn't think so.
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Images: Melodi Erdogan