According to a 2011 Marist poll, 73 percent of Americans believe in “The One.” The same poll also found that men are more likely to believe there is just one person out there for them, and people under 45 have more faith in “The One” than people over the age for 45. However, that isn’t to say older people don’t believe in "The One;" it’s probably just that life experience has taught them that such a belief might be, well, a little silly.
When it comes to love, we hear a lot about “The One.” If we’re to believe in the idea of “The One,” that would mean that out of all the people in the world, there is only one person for everyone. Just one; not two or three; just one. So, if that one dies, you’re basically effed, because you only get one. So you will live the rest of your life alone, or with someone who isn’t “The One,” and oh, how dreadful that will be.
The history behind “The One,” isn’t exactly clear, but since it’s on par with soulmates, that’s probably a good place to look. In Plato’s The Symposium , he had one of his characters tell a story of how humans originally had eight limbs and two faces. But because the strength of these types of humans was so strong Zeus had them all split in half and in doing so caused these half humans to suffer until they found their other half to make them whole again. That other half, of course, would be one’s soulmate or “The One,” depending on how you want to define it.
So, is there just one person out there for everyone? I’m going to say no and I’m going to convince you, even the most romantic of you, why thinking about or even looking for “The One” is total BS.
1. There Are Over 7.3 Billion People In The World
Every once and a while I like to click on the world population meter that keeps track of the births and deaths that occur within the world. It’s fascinating to watch for even a minute, as the numbers go up and down. But while the lower numbers fluctuate, what remains is that fact that there are over seven billion people in the world. Seven-effing-billion. To believe that, of all those people, there is only ONE person for you is just, well, to be honest, narrow-minded and a wee bit crazy.
2. The Earth Is Almost 200 Million Square Miles
Not only are we looking at over 7.3 billion people on the planet, but with the Earth being 197,000,000 square miles, an astronomical amount of land that the majority of us will never see, it’s kind of hard to say that, even if you think you’ve found “The One,” that you actually have. Just think about how much land you need to cover and how many you need to meet before you can say, for sure, you’ve found “The One.”
3. It’s Self-Sabotaging
You could go out and have a great date with someone, but then, just as you’re getting close to them, stop and wonder, “Is this ‘The One?’ Or should I keep looking?” You could end up blowing something that could have been great, because you’re searching for something that – I hate to say – doesn’t exist. Basically you end up sabotaging yourself and your potential for happiness.
4. It Creates Too Much Pressure
In running around looking “The One” you’re not just sabotaging potential relationships with really awesome people, but you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. You’re investing time and energy in something that doesn’t even have any scientific basis in being a legitimate thing. Just the idea of spending so much time looking for “The One” is exhausting in itself. And what happens if you meet someone whom you think is “The One,” but you’re wrong? Then what?
5. Perfection Is Unrealistic Anyway
A lot of people equate “The One” with the concept of a perfect match, but that’s impossible. Why? Because perfection doesn’t exist and the very idea of perfection is the most unrealistic thing that one could even think.
6. Believing In 'The One' Can Actually Ruin Your Relationship
According to research, those who believe in soulmates or "The One," are initially very happy in their relationships. But then when problems arises, as is the case with all relationships, those who believe in "The One" are more likely to bail and go looking for another "The One," instead of trying to work things out. Which, let's be honest, throws the whole "The One" thing out the window, doesn't it?
7. You Don’t Need To Be Completed
Contrary to Plato’s The Symposium, you do not need to be completed. You are whole as you are and thinking that “The One,” once you find them, is somehow going to fill in the pieces you’re lacking is just bullsh*t. Instead of looking for that one person who’s supposed to fit into your life like a perfect puzzle piece, it might make more sense if you look inward and see that you already have everything you need. Relationships are great, but depending on them to complete you is no way to go through life. When you realize that, you'll see that “The One” is best left in Hollywood movies and fairytales.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast,I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: Fotolia; Giphy(7)