Los Angeles is unlike any place I have ever lived in. I've spent a lot of time on both coasts, but I can safely say that LA is its own animal. The roads connect neighborhoods to make a multicultural map spanning hundreds of miles. You have the beach to the west, desert and mountains to the east, snow to the north, and hot, sandy surf to the south. You are never more than a few hours away from everything. It's been a weird mixture of happiness and sadness every time I say that I live here. I miss my darling NYC so much, but I can't help but start to like this city as well. I mean, what is not to like? The weather? The beautiful people? The fact that I can have avocados all year round? ALL YEAR ROUND, PEOPLE! And that's just the start.
Ever since moving here I noticed that certain things are just part of LA culture. Driving, eating out at restaurants, and the beach. I feel like those things are the pillars of my life for the last two years. The sun beats down on the hot pavement and all I want is to drive down to the beach and eat ice cream. There are obviously a lot of other aspects to the city, which is why I sat down and wrote down everything I could think of. These are things that keep popping up in my life, and strictly things that Los Angeles people say.
"I'm Not Driving All The Way To Santa Monica..."
Where you meet up for drinks with friends solely depends on the location of the place. Seriously. No one wants to drive an hour and a half out of their way. If you are in Hollywood, good luck trying to get me to drive down to the beach for cocktails.
"Traffic At 12 A.M. Is Totally Normal!"
When you drive around the city at night it is actually quite peaceful. My favorite highway is the 101 North. At night when there aren't too many people out on the road, everything looks great. But it's not always great. Because traffic is a real thing that plagues Los Angeles. It's not such a weird occurrence when you are in bumper to bumper traffic in the middle of the night.
"When Exactly Is Your Flight Landing? I Need All The Details. ALL OF THEM."
LAX is such a beast that picking someone from the airport becomes an act of unbelievable kindness. If you agree to pick anyone up, you will need all the details right away. You don't want to show up to early, EVER, because that will mean looping around LAX more than once. And if you have ever been to LAX you know how much of a cluster it can be to drive in and out.
"I'm The CEO's Third Assistant."
You will always run into people in the entertainment industry. What do you expect? If I was in a Wall Street neighborhood I wouldn't expect more than financial guys hanging around. More than any other group of people you will be running into assistants to big-named people. Pro tip: the more assistants someone has, the more succesful they tend to be. I haven't met anyone with more than three here (so obviously it's my goal to have four of my own in due time).
"I'm A Writer/Producer/Director/PR/Agent/Model."
So what do you do? That's a question you will get asked within the first five minutes of any LA conversation. I used to never be able to answer that question comfortably, until now. Now I get to say I am a writer. In LA you are always meeting aspiring artists/writers/producers/agents/assistants on a repeating loop.
"Jason Segel/Pamela Anderson/Mila Kunis Lives Next Door."
Celebrities just exist here. They are always going to stores and buying food, or watching movies or hanging out at hip clubs. And a lot of the times they end up being your neighbors or your friends neighbors. It actually pretty cool!
"I Live In The Valley. It's Really Not That Bad!"
If you live in The Valley get ready to defend The Valley. People are always taking shots at it.
"I Found This Cool New Place..."
Clubs that have trapdoors, bars that have fridges instead of doors, clubs with no signs at all. There are always cool new places to check out. My favorite is a jazzy bar that's just a house that was converted into a bar.
"Want To Go Watch Beetlejuice In The Cemetery?"
You can watch old movies in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. They set up a screen and people come with blankets and sit on the floor. While I have never been because I find it a bit creepy, it is a staple of LA culture that would, quite frankly, be alarming if talked about anywhere else.
"Do You Want To Come To My Art Show/Movie Premier/Dance Recital?"
People are always self promoting. When you live in a city filled with talent, you need to standout. Word of mouth is always your best bet.
"Oh, Him? He's A Total Nightmare!"
Because the entertainment industry is ingrained in this city, people are always dishing dirt on people. Always. You mention a name and everyone knows at least a little something about them.
"I'm Sorry I'm Late."
You will be late. Always. No matter what and no matter how early you leave. Traffic is forever a traffic jam away from you missing your interview.
"Want To Go Hike To The Hollywood Sign?"
Hiking is a passion for a lot of people. And why shouldn't it be? The views are gorgeous.
"Is There Street Parking?"
Since cars are like another member of the family, parking becomes an essential part of your life as well. You will always hear someone asking you if wherever you are going has parking or at least street parking.
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