Strange New Study Tries to Explain Why Men Give Women Oral Sex, As If It Wasn't Obvious

Well then. According to a researchers, the reason men perform oral sex on women is to prevent cheating. Because everything we do in bed should be baby-related, researchers wanted to figure out why men were performing this non-reproductive act (no mention of why women perform oral sex on men).

The study surveyed 243 men in committed heterosexual relationships. Apparently, guys are all about sperm retention, which is why they want to make their partners happy in bed. Or, as the researchers put it, men want "to minimize the risk of their partner’s infidelity by increasing her relationship satisfaction."

That's a motivation I've never heard before. Mostly men tell me they enjoy it, and they enjoy that I enjoy it. The study also doesn't account for straight men in committed relationships who don't like giving oral sex. Do these men want you to cheat?

It seems I'm not the only one to be perplexed by this study. The Gloss called the researchers "confused [...] lonely scientists," as well as "selfish assholes," while Handbag.com mused they just "aren't doing it right." Cunnilingus 1, science 0.