2016 is turning out to be exciting for a lot of reasons, but the most exciting thing about it is a hope I've long harbored: That it will be the year that we finally transcend dating profile clichés, instead filling our online bios with interesting, meaningful, and original content. In case you're not in on these clichés, though, let's take this opportunity to break down all the general things to stop saying on your online dating profiles. Because seriously: If one more person I swipe right on says they enjoy "having fun," I'm going to lose my mind.
While we're talking about online dating, it's important to note a few other points of etiquette that will ultimately help you spruce up your online presence and find true love (or something). Of course, one key factor to keep in mind is that you always need to choose good photos that represent the real you; additionally (and this should go without saying, but weirdly, it often doesn't), always make sure your profile is at least somewhat filled out so people looking at it get a sense that you're, you know, an actual person. Other tips include avoiding mentioning an ex and not calling anyone crazy.
But it seems like a lot of people are doing OK when it comes to the photos and not-mentioning-an-ex side of things, so at least there's that. When it comes to descriptions and messages, however, it's time to spruce up your profiles and start avoiding these 10 generic statements.
1. "I only swipe right for dogs/cats/pizza."
Listen, we get it. You like your cute, fuzzy pet and your glutinous, cheesy slab of bread-food, just like the rest of us. But newsflash — animals and foods typically don't have dating profiles, so you're going to be doing a lot of left swiping.
2. "Looking for my Tinderella!"
Honestly, putting the entire plot of Cinderella in your bio would be more interesting than this overused, wrung-out, unoriginal pun.
3. "I'm shy. Message me first!"
This one peeves me because then all the responsibility is put on the other person to do all the work. Maybe both people are shy, and one person's profile doesn't say it! Maybe it's not that big of a deal to message someone because it's on an app or website, and you've probably already matched anyway! Maybe write something on your profile that would help the other person know what to message you! Or maybe, y'know, go ahead and message the people who interest you first, rather than waiting for them all to come to you!
4. "Serious inquiries only."
What does that mean? What's going on? Are you hiring for a salaried position with stock options and benefits?
5. "I can't be described in a box."
I'm pretty sure no one can be described in a box, but why don't you go ahead and try anyway, because that's kind of the point. If you want to go into further detail about yourself, a first date or a messaging conversation is a great opportunity to do so.
6. "Just moved to New City, and I'm looking for people to show me around!"
If I had a dollar for every time I matched with someone who said this, I would have enough money to start my own travel agency to help all these poor, lost people get around the city in which they now apparently live. It's one thing to want to try to make friends in a new place, but it's completely another to expect everyone on the Internet to play tour guide for you.
7. "I love wine/beer/hiking/the sun/photography."
We all have interests that can be boiled down to one word (mine include eating, procrastinating, and Beyoncé), so the interests themselves aren't the problem here. Never underestimate the importance of how you express those interests, though. Try sprucing up how you state them to help pique people's interests. Some suggestions I have include: "I love drinking wine before and after my finals," "Hit me up if you like IPAs, lagers, stouts, porters, malts... or really any kind of beer," and "I like to hike, but mostly on horizontal surfaces."
8. "Why am I on this app, lol."
I don't know and neither does anyone else. But now that we're all here, let's talk about something other than the fact that... we're all here. Or something.
9. "I hate fake people."
You mean like robots that create fake online dating profiles? Same. Because most people who fit into the category of people are real people.
10. "Looking for fun."
Aren't we all, generic dating app users. Aren't we all.
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