As a survivor of the Holocaust, a trained sniper, and America's favorite sex therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer has literally seen it all. If you grew up in the 80s and 90s, it was impossible to miss the diminutive dynamo's presence on TV, dishing out straight forward, scientifically-sourced advice for getting it on in her signature German accent. There was no topic too risque or too intimate for this woman on a mission to de-stigmatize human sexuality for the general public.
Today, at age 87, Westheimer is still going strong, still re-defining who is “allowed” to talk about sex, and still acting like the cool grandmother you wish you had. In 2011, she released yet another book on her favorite subject, this one called Sexually Speaking: What Every Woman Needs to Know about Sexual Health, and in 2014 wrote about the ancient Greek and Roman myths that color our beliefs about love in the 21st century. Dr. Ruth hasn't retired from giving solid sex advice either. And although the groundbreaking sex therapist isn’t saying anything we might consider earth shattering today, that's only because she already busted those taboos back in the day.
Here are eight pieces of classic advice from Westheimer as seen in The Huffington Post, The Washington Post, Men's Health, and more.
1. "People are not Siamese twins...They don't want to have sex, or the same amount of sex, at the same time. The important thing is that that couple, for the good of the relationship, adjusts to it."
2. "Make sure you vary your positions!"
3. "I do suggest that people have sex before they go out to dinner—especially people who date."
4. "Many people grow jealous of their partner's fantasy lovers. That's a big mistake. After years of being together, many people need fantasy to become sufficiently aroused for sex...with their partner!"
5. "If you're always waiting for that orgasm, you won't enjoy the rest of the lovemaking as much. You risk being goal oriented, impatiently waiting for that orgasm."
6. "You don’t have to share your fantasies. If you have sex with your partner, and the woman thinks about a whole football team in bed with her, that’s okay, but keep your mouth shut about it."
7. "Your sex life is not supposed to come to an end just because you’ve hit a certain age.”
8. "Women in this great country have learned that they must take responsibility for their sexual satisfaction. Even if they love the guy, he can’t guess what she needs."
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