We Don't Deserve Carly's Musical Brilliance

Thirty years ago, on Nov. 21, 1985, a beautiful Canadian angel named Carly Rae Jepsen came down from Heaven to save the world from bad pop music. Tragically, however, shortly after she blessed our ears with the impeccable bubblegum-pop delight "Call Me Maybe," the ungrateful denizens of this garbage planet tossed poor CRJ aside, instead preferring to listen to the musical stylings of Jason Derulo, Andy Grammer, and Pitbull. I've kept quiet about this madness for years*, but now, it's finally gone too far. Recently, Funny or Die filmed Jepsen performing for tips on the Third Street Promenade in Los Angeles as a sort of social experiment — and the results have raised my blood pressure to "imminent heart attack" levels.

In short, I've finally come to the conclusion that the majority of the people on this planet just don't deserve Carly Rae Jepsen's musical brilliance.

As the Funny or Die video starts, you're likely to have three questions on your mind: Will people recognize Jepsen? Will they stop to listen to her? And will they give her money? Yes, people do recognize the 30-year-old pop music goddess. And yes, a small crowd does eventually form in front of her. But at the end of the day, she only walks away with $35 in tips. THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS. This woman has literally never put out a bad song in her entire life, and we couldn't even give her enough cash to grab dinner with a friend at Olive Garden?! Shameful.

Watching the clip, it's obvious that some people just don't "get" Jepsen's music:

Wait, where are you going?

DON'T YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS? (No, of course not.)

Don't walk away!

She's just not for him, I guess.

You have the rest of your life to work, dude — but you could be watching CRJ perform live in front of your very own eyes right now! What are you thinking??

Jepsen's sophomore LP, EMOTION, is one of the best reviewed mainstream pop releases of 2015, and yet, the general public still doesn't appreciate her as they should. I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE! You know what? Fine. Don't buy Jepsen's music! More for me. I'll buy it all! Clearly, her stuff is far too cool and sophisticated for most of y'all, anyway.

*This is a lie. I've been squawking about how underrated Jepsen is since 2012... and I don't plan to stop anytime soon.

Images: Funny Or Die (5)