13 Signs You Are Meant To Be On 'Real Housewives'
Have you ever watched an episode of Real Housewives and thought to yourself "that should be me"? If you respond to the television when the drama goes down or hypothesize about the action you would take if you were involved in specific story lines, rest assured that you are not the only one who is this engrossed in the reality TV franchise. That said, not everyone has what it takes to be a Real Housewife. But maybe you are different. All of the best Real Housewives are unique, but there are certain things that most of the good ones have in common. There are quite a few common signs that you could be a Real Housewife. Not everyone is built to take on the task, but you very well may be!
If joining the cast of Real Housewives in a city near you is something you've always dreamed of, then you need to make sure that you can bring it when the cameras are pointed your way. If you go through this list and the points end up applying to you, then you should probably hit up Andy Cohen for an audition, submit a casting tape to Bravo, and start drafting your introduction tagline.
1. You Live In A Major City (Or Think Your City Is Major)
Most of the cities on Real Housewives are major: New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles (for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Orange County). But if you don't live in a city that people have actually heard of, then you must act like your town is a big deal until it's true. Case in point, all of the women on Real Housewives of Potomac who have been trying to make Potomac a thing — which it pretty much is now.
2. You Love Throwing Shade
Nice people are great for real life, but if you want to be on reality television, you have to be a shade master to entertain the viewers. There's no better way to elevate a situation and get the fans on your side by having some hilarious shade.
3. You Have Great Dance Moves
If you love breaking it down on the dance floor and being the center of attention, then you would make an excellent Real Housewife. They may try to act classy at dinner parties and on the red carpet, but when the liquor is flowing and the beat drops, these ladies love to get wild. They dance like everyone is watching and have no apologies for it.
4. You Treat Life Like A Fashion Show & Like To Brag About Price Tags
If you live in sweatpants and can't be bothered with makeup, then this isn't the career path for you. The Real Housewives are always on top of the latest style trends. Every day is a day is a fashion show to them. A shopping trip isn't complete without one of them modeling every outfit in the store in front of the cameras and flashing the receipt to the viewers.
5. You Love To Talk About Money
This is a pretty crass requirement, but I'm just trying to keep it real. Pretty much all of the Real Housewives are wealthy and if they're not they are hustling hard trying to chase those dollars. I always thought that finances were a hush hush topic if you wanted to keep it classy, but if you love to brag about how much money you have or what you're doing to get more, then you could be a Housewife.
6. You Are Constantly Quotable
If you can make the viewers laugh, then you have them on your side forever. Being able to say clever things in the moment and in cast interviews is essential if you want be considered an iconic Real Housewife. A hungover LuAnn de Lesseps talking about being "all like uncool," an angry Teresa yelling "prostitution whore," and a catty Camille Grammer saying "the morally corrupt Faye Resnick" are all historic moments in Real Housewives history. If you can't be quoted, you cannot be a Housewife.
7. You Like To Party
If you prefer quiet nights at home curled up with a book, then you might not be cut out for the Housewives lifestyle. These women have events every single day and night. Even a casual lunch will turn into a drinking event. Homebodies need not apply for this role.
8. You Are An Open Book
Privacy goes out the window once you're a Real Housewife. If you have no qualms sharing every bit of your personal life and expressing your opinions, then you could be an ideal Housewife. And if you are willing to really go there like when Shannon Beador shared the details of her at-home colonic gone wrong, then you are golden.
9. You Have Some Family Drama
The only thing better to watch than Real Housewife who's dramatic is a a Real Housewife who is dramatic and also has a lot of family tension. If you have some family issues and you're open to airing out your dirty laundry on television, then this is the show for you. I will never forget the millions of spats between Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga.
10. You Get Off On Self Promotion
If you have a business or products that you like to promote at every occasion possible, then you are made for this role. If you have love to talk about your personal brand even when it's not at all applicable to the topic of conversation, then that makes for even better television. How many times have we heard about Ramona Pinot Grigio, Bethenny Frankel's Skinnygirl products, Teresa Giudice's cookbooks, and Lisa Vanderpump's restaurants? Too many to count and that's the point.
11. You Are Open To Cosmetic Procedures
We saw Vicki Gunvalson's face heal after her surgery, Tamra Judge take her breast implants in and out multiple times, and heard Jacqueline Laurita talk about all of her Botox and other injections. If you pride yourself on looking your best and you have no shame turning to doctors for help, you could be a great Real Housewife. The only way it could be better is if you wouldn't mind showing cosmetic procedures and the awkward recovery time on national television.
12. You Have D-List Celeb Connections
Bragging about how well-connected you are is everything when it comes to these reality stars. If you are friends with an ex boy band member, have a niece who used to do reality television, or you are married to a retired soap opera star, and love to show that off, then you would fit in with the rest of the women. If I have to hear Kyle Richards "casually mention" her niece Paris one more time, I'm going to lose it.
13. You Have No Issue Getting Other People In Trouble
Nobody wants to watch a boring reality show. If you can channel your inner Ramona Singer and get everyone mad at your friends for something you did, then you've got this on lock. If you bring the drama and instigate other people to escalate already hectic situations, then Real Housewives would be the perfect show for you star in.
Not everyone can be one of the Real Housewives, but if you possess these traits then you are well on your way. All you have to do is submit your casting tape at this point because it's essentially a done deal!
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