Having sex on your period is often a love it or hate it situation. Maybe a love it or scared of it situation is more accurate. But women who love it really effing love it. But does anything change when there are two period involved? Or even just two women? Autostraddle surveyed over 8,500 readers (the vast majority between 18 and 36) with their Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey "open to all 'lady-types who sleep with lady-types'" and found some very interesting things about period sex.
Because with women it can go a few different ways. For one, if you're in a lesbian relationship there's a good chance your periods will sync. But if your cycle isn't so regular (like mine from PCOS), that might not happen so well. You're either dealing with both of you on your period at once or, maybe, you have to deal with two separate weeks of period sex a month. It seem to me ridiculous that sex should stop for nearly half the month because of that (I mean, orgasms help your cramps for goodness sake). And I kind of assume if you're both women you're going to be less awkward around period sex, because neither of you are going to be grossed out by period blood, right? You both have it.
Anyway, it wasn't quite as simple as I expected. Here's how lady types who sleep with lady types felt:
1. 37 Percent Were "Enthusiastically Or Somewhat In Favor" Of Sex On Their Period
That's what I like to hear. So over a their of people agree with me that period sex feels amazing. Plus there are a lot of benefits to period sex you shouldn't miss out on just because it's a little messy.
2. But More Were Enthusiastic About Sex On Their Partner's Period
It wasn't a huge difference, but five percent more (so 42 percent) were enthusiastically or somewhat in favor of sex when their partner was on their period. I would write this off to some people being a little self-conscious about themselves, but not actually caring or being grossed out with other people. But more on that later.
3. 24 Percent Were "Neutral" About Sex On Their Period
So nearly a quarter didn't have any strong feelings about period sex, but I guess that implies that they are totally OK with still doing it, if it doesn't create any strong feelings one way or the other. Interestingly, on third (33 percent) were neutral about sex on their partner's period.
4. 23 Percent Were "Somewhat Or Strongly Against" Period Sex— No Matter Whose It Was
This really surprised me. Nearly one quarter of people were against period sex when they were on their period, and the same percentage for their partner's. I assumed more women would be laid back about it, but I guess not. Considering that orgasms help relieve your cramps, make your period get over faster, and generally have some pretty crazy sensitive orgasms, I have to say I think you're missing a trick.
But Autostraddle noticed a pretty interesting trend looking more closely at the statistic. They explained:
To some extent, how someone felt about sex during their period indicated how they felt about sex during a partner’s. For instance, only two people were enthusiastically into sex during their periods but strongly against sex during a partner’s... 59% of those strongly against sex during a partner’s period were also against sex during their own. Largely, however, respondents were more positive or neutral about sex during a partner’s period than during their own.
This is why I suspect that we get more out of whack about our own stuff, even if we aren't at all bothered about our partner's potential period mess. I totally can see that— as much as I wouldn't care if my girlfriend got period blood everywhere, I think a part of me would still feel embarrassed if I got blood on her sheets, despite her giving me absolutely no reason to feel that way and I feel totally comfortable with her.
Period sex is great, so that self-consciousness doesn't stop me, but I can see how it happens. I would really recommending looking into the benefits of periods sex before swearing off of it though, and if you don't believe me, just try it.
For more LGBTQ stories, check out Bustle on YouTube:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (4)