The ONE Present To Get Yourself This V-Day

I've been a die-hard rabbit fan for a long time, but I have to say, after trying a new toy that's been launched, I think I'm a convert. The new MysteryVibe Crescendo has all of the benefits of a rabbit-style vibrator— like the options of internal and external action, plus great G-spot stimulation, but with a whole lot to flexibility. And if you want to spoil yourself on Valentine's Day, I think this is they way to do it. Seriously.

Flexibility is the bottom line behind this new toy. Not only does it claim to be super powerful (I can attest that this is the case) it can also a bit of a chameleon. Like— it bends. So whatever you're in the mood for, whatever you like, the Crescendo will make itself work for you. And I loved that. Even after only using it a few times, it's fun to see how adjustable it is, and how easy it is to move around.

I have to say at first I was bit skeptical, mostly because the video of it was so over-the-top. Check out the video behind the concept:

A little much, right? FREUD! CAVERNS! SEXY VOICE! APPS! But here's the thing— it's actually great. This much more pared own video shows you what you're actually getting:

And it's pretty amazing, right? It stands on it's own. This got me intrigued. And when I tried it out, I wasn't let down. Here's what I found:

The Grand Opening

Firstly, let's start with the fact this may be the fanciest thing I've ever owned. It comes in a box, in a box. Two boxes. This is like the cadillac of vibrators. If cars came in boxes... (I don't know a lot about cars).

Batteries Not Included

Oh, and the instructions? They're on a fancy black card like they're inviting me a goddamned private show at the Moulin Rouge. And it comes with a black velvet bag to keep it in and it has a wireless charging port. Seriously. It means no more bulk-buying 40 packs of AAA batteries and pretending you just really like TV. Or worse, getting all ready for some private time and realizing the batteries are dead and you need to leave the house. They've thought of everything.

The Unveiling

BOOM. Here it is. Yes I'm in a onesie and barely awake because that's how I masturbate — want to fight about it? Upon inspection it was really kind of astounding. It seemed to be lightly scented— nothing overwhelming or gross though but it certainly surprised me. And it was sort of soft to touch and felt less cheap and cheesy than some of my other vibrators.

But the really amazing thing was how it moved.

Bend And Go

I had seen it in the video, but i was shocked at how easily it bent in real life. And it's range of motion. See it all the way one way and...

And Back Again

...completely the other. It's really easy to do. But also a little overwhelming— just at first— because there are so many position options and then how to, ummm, use the position. There was a lot of ground to cover, so it was time to get down to business.

The Verdict?

Basically, it was awesome. Although I laughed at how serious they took all those motors at first, I was not laughing afterward. I love having the option for just clitoral stimulation with the two "ears", as that's one of my favorites, but then still having loads more to play around with. I played around with various vibration patterns but I haven't tried the app yet because honestly there was more than enough to experiment with just as it is. And it's easy to adjust the intensity and switch through vibration patters. I haven't yet found the right angle for it to be curved with one part inside me and the ears on my clit, but I'm still trying. At first I was scared of bending it but you can be pretty rough with moving it around— so really just go for it.

It's expensive ($199), but if you pre-order on the website there's a discount ($159), and if you're a vibrator connoisseur it's worth it. It has everything I've liked about my rabbits, but with way more options to play around with if you're in a funk. Plus, it's by far the fanciest and highest quality vibrator I've ever owned. If you want to splash out and treat yourself, this is the Valentine's Day gift to go for.

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