46 Weird Things People Have Masturbated With

Sorry/not sorry but I’m going to make you feel uncomfortable for a moment. I want you to take a minute and think about what weird object you’ve used to masturbate. Maybe it was an insertable like a particularly phallic vegetable. Have I brought back that awkward memory for you? A certain item in your far or recent past that makes you blush just to think about it?

Good! Because I’m here to tell you that you’re not that weird. In fact, I’m going to venture a guess that pretty much everyone has some object that they’ve used to masturbate that, in retrospect, made them feel a little funny. And I think that half the reason we feel shame or embarrassment about this kind of thing is because we don’t ever talk about it, right? So while you might be turning bright red about that one particular cucumber, the guy in the cubicle next to yours is totally mortified by a certain piece of fruit…

Point being, we’re all sexual creatures and we’ve all looked at something that technically wasn’t a sex toy and thought “Hmm…” If you want proof that you're alone, check out these 46 “most embarrassing” things that reddit users on the subreddit r/sex have used to masturbate.

1. A Yodeling Pickle

2. And A Vlasic

3. A Hairbrush

4. A Harry Potter Broomstick

5. A Fancy Fifi

6. Tweety Bird

7. And A Little More Everything

8. A Stoner's Dildo

9. A Collection Of Stones

10. A Family Heirloom

11. Hand Sanitizer

12. A Squiggle Wiggle Writer

13. Barbie Legs

14. A Vibrating, Furry Hamster

15. A Clarinet Stand

16. An Empty Toilet Paper Roll

17. A Couch

18. A Mouth

19. A Teddy Bear

20. A Shampoo Bottle (And Then Some)

21. A Tennis Ball

22. A Candle

23. Even More Everything

24. A Giant Zucchini

25. A Curling Iron And Vodka

26. A Jacuzzi

27. An Orange

28. Turkey Gravy

29. A Crystal

30. Poop

31. Another Hairbrush

32. A Banana Peel

33. A Ripe Banana

34. Melted Butter

35. A Shoe

36. A Vacuum Cleaner

37. A Sharpie

38. Vick's Vaporub

39. A Jack Hammer Toy

40. A Recorder

41. A Light Saber

42. Lip Balm

43. A Model Car

44. A Happy Meal Toy

45. A Joystick

46. ...Everything

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Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy; reddit