Life

Worst Tinder Message Ever?

by Emma Cueto

Trying to come up with an opening line on Tinder is always tricky, so people can perhaps be forgiven for using lines they've copied off the Internet. But it seems that some guys are using a truly cringe-worthy Tinder message taken off a pick-up site that has me kind of wondering if the site in question knows anything about seduction at all. And also makes me a little concerned for the future of dating.

An example of this particular line was shared on the Instagram account @feminist_tinder on Feb. 15, with the caption explaining that the person who submitted the screenshot had gotten the message from the same user who sent identical messages to several of her friends. Not the smoothest move to begin with. But then there isn't much about this particular line that is smooth.

It starts off alright:

Hey, I know this is kind of weird and pushy haha, but would you like to have sex with me? I'm not a creep or a pervert, just a genuine guy.

It's forward, and a little awkward, but then again, proposing sex with strangers you meet on an app is always a little awkward. And as long as you're polite and respectful, there's nothing wrong with people being upfront about what they want.

But then things start to go downhill. The message continues:

I would treat you with respect and the sex would be good. I can even make you squirt if the connection is right haha. I will not judge you or think you’re “easy”. So yeah, excuse me if I come across as a little uncalibrated but I think you’re attractive, so what do you think? Haha.

Like I said, downhill. By the end of it, he's both spent way too much time trying to insist he's a good guy (usually a telltale sign someone is not a good guy), and also just incredibly awkward both in the wording and the frankly unsexy way that it tries to bring up sex.

On its own, of course, this isn't all that remarkable. Terrible Tinder lines are as common as dirt (and can be every bit as annoyingly filthy). But the fact that this was, as the woman who submitted to @feminist_tinder points out, lifted directly off a pick-up artist site has me raising my eyebrows. This was given as an example of a good line by a supposed expert?

This particular line comes from a video featuring the pick-up artist Maxmillian Berger, who is part of the Real Social Dynamics crew (the same pick-up artist group that gave us the loathsome Julien Blanc). The video is entitled "How To F*** Women On Tinder" which seems like an overly optimistic expectation, given the line he gives as an example. It's meant to be an "Apocalypse Opener," an approach in which a guy is upfront about wanting to sleep with a woman within the first few minutes of meeting her — or within the first few exchanges on Tinder, as the case may be.

And yet somehow being a pick-up artist is considered sophisticated. Or am I misunderstanding what the word "artist" is supposed to mean?

Pick-up artists are not a new phenomenon, nor is it new for them to supposedly offer to use their "expertise" to help fellow single guys learn how they, too, can get women into bed — or creep them out and annoy them, as it were. They are at best a perplexing lot — especially when writing poetry — and at worst terrifying. But it seems they aren't any good at coming up with good lines to use for Tinder, at least if this one is any indication.

So is it only a matter or time before awkward, cringe-worthy pick-up artist lines like this one become the norm on Tinder? Have we already reached that point and just don't know it yet? Is there any hope for the future of dating apps at all?

I guess we'll find out.

Image: Getty Images