A relationship without honesty is a relationship that is bound to fail. If you have been showing dishonest relationship signs with your partner (or you notice that they have been dishonest with you), it may be time to reassess your relationship, and figure out why you are even in it in the first place. Maybe your significant other is your best friend and the two of you normally have a stellar bond. If that's the case, then why aren't you being completely honest with them right now? When you don't have trust, what's left? Nada.
Honesty is the foundation of a relationship. And sure, little white lies told in order to protect your privacy and independence are fine on occasion. Everyone needs time to themselves or a night out with just their BFFs without having their significant other around. And, there is no need to share absolutely everything with the person you love. Some aspects of your life are just for you, and probably don't matter much to your partner anyway. However, being honest about things that have the potential to hurt the other person — that's what counts. Here are all the signs that dishonesty might be crippling your relationship:
1. You Turn Off All Message Notifications On Your Phone
If you've disabled all notifications because you're seeking freedom from your devices, that's perfectly fine. But if the reason is because you want to avoid an incriminating text or email popping up on your screen that your significant other might see, that's a red flag. Think about why you don't want them privy to what you're doing on your phone. Maybe it's time to reevaluate the relationship.
2. You Hide Receipts
Receipts are a paper trail to what you've done and who you've been with. If you get home and instantly want to destroy the evidence of your day or night out, that's concerning. If it's because your significant other is super jealous or controlling and will get mad about your activities without them, then maybe this isn't the person for you. If you're hiding what you've done and who you've done it with, then maybe you aren't the right person for them.
3. You Fib About Plans With Friends
Why do you feel the need to mask the truth? And why would your SO not approve of the way you and your friends spend time together? Are you really that different? Or are you engaging in shifty deeds when your partner isn't around?
If you can't tell your mate what you do when you leave the house, there's a problem. And it's a big one.
4. You Find That Lying Gets Easier The More You Do It
Practice makes perfect, right? Well, lying should not be a skill you're perfecting. If you are, then it might be time to end it.
5. You're Always A Little Paranoid
You have thoughts like, Do they know? Did they find that old text message I thought I deleted? Did someone tell them?
If you're always on edge like this, it's time to come clean or get out. Or both.
6. You're Easily Irritated
Consistent paranoia leads to irritability. And that's because living in fear makes you miserable. Why would you put yourself through this?
7. You're Defensive
If you're in a position where you're always poised for an attack like a caged animal, then there's something seriously wrong. And being defensive all the time is a dead giveaway that you're hiding something. So, you're busted.
8. You Get A Sinking Feeling Whenever Your SO Picks Up Your Phone
Even if the notifications are off, you see this and wonder if you actually disabled all of them. You're freaked out that they might find something. You're convinced the cloud just betrayed you and revealed all your dirty little secrets for your SO to see.
9. You Try To Justify Actions That You Would Never Accept From Another Person
You might do this in your mind or verbally when you feel backed into a corner. It's human nature to adapt to all scenarios, and that includes justifying our own actions, no matter how crappy they may be. Try and take a step back and figure out if you'd be cool with this from your SO. If the answer is no, then it's time to change your ways.
10. You Pile On The Sweetness
Overcompensating for things you've done is a direct response to shouldering massive guilt. Remember on Friends when Chandler used his life savings to buy all new furniture and tech gadgets for he and Joey after he hooked up with Joey's girlfriend? Yeah, it's like that.
11. You Fantasize About Your Relationship Ending
Look, these are YOUR fantasies, so there's nothing wrong with them. And there's nothing shady about having fantasies about other people. We all do it. But if you find yourself daydreaming often about your life without the person you're currently with, you might start acting like you're already living without them.
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