I'm not usually one to cake-shame, because I have no standards regarding my junk food so long as butter and sugar is involved. But today, my friends, I present to you the official cake to end all cakes: this Harry Potter wedding cake from NFL player Mike Evans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This past weekend he married Ashli Evans, and the two of them commissioned a cake that will make you lose your Muggle mind. On it are four delicious tiers: one for Gryffindor, then Slytherin, then Ravenclaw, then Hufflepuff. (As a Hufflepuff, I reserve the right to be smug about being the top of the cake, particularly since it's the one that couples freeze and save for their first year anniversary.) The cake topper was Hedwig in her cage, which must have been a real ~hoot~ to partygoers (sorry).
The cake was actually a groom's cake, which implies that there was also a wedding cake, which implies that there was a massive amount of cake at this wedding that I didn't get to eat. My FOMO aside, you really have to take a look at this cake for a long time to appreciate all of the intricate details of it. If you squint, you can spot all sorts of allusions to things from the Harry Potter books and movies. Harry's glasses, a Gryffindor scarf, a Snitch, a Time Turner, a Marauder's Map, a broomstick — it's a whole menagerie of Potter lore. And as a person who used to work in a cake bakery and watch the decorators do their thing, I can attest to just how long this kind of cake art takes. Whoever the decorator is, they ROCKED it.
It isn't exactly that much of a surprise that Evans went with the Potter theme, though, when you consider his history with this fandom. He was been more than vocal about his love for the series on Twitter in the past.
Me too, Mike Evans. Meeeee too.
Here's a pic of the big day, presumably just before that cake was eaten in all of its magical delicious glory:
Congrats to the happy couple, and an even bigger congrats to the Harry Potter fandom, who will, true to form, NEVER BE OVER IT. And although we can't celebrate with the Evans couple, we can all celebrate from our individual monitors with this GIF of the second-best Harry Potter cake of all time (Mike Evans' being the first).
GET IN MY BELLY.
Images: Warner Bros; Giphy