You have to have the self-control of a Buddhist monk not to be tempted to look up your exes online, because finding them on social media these days is SO EASY. While doing this is never a good idea, that doesn't mean that you can't take some vicarious pleasure in watching BuzzFeed's latest video where people Facebook stalk their exes. I hope this video acts as a deterrent, people, because flipping through an old flame’s Facebook wall can only lead to a vortex of emotional pain.
It always starts out innocently enough, with just a light browsing along the lines of, “Oh, isn’t that interesting, he’s a lawyer now.” But soon the voracious curiosity kicks in, and it’s down the rabbit hole with ye. Suddenly, unbeknownst to your better judgement, you’ve already Googled them, checked their LinkedIn, and are in the midst of watching an Instagram video where they jump off a waterfall in Jamaica on their latest vacation (for the tenth time).
The trick is that you have to stop at Facebook, no matter how unsatisfying the result, or prepare for pain. At first, looking at pictures of your ex-lover can be sweet and familiar, maybe it reminds you why you found them so attractive in the first place. It’s a feeling akin to eating raw brownie batter — so good, but you know you should stop because too much will give you a terrible stomachache. The more you look, and hunt, the worse you feel. Before you know it, you are pouring over their engagement photos and having imaginary conversations with their new bae.
In the name of “research,” I decided to Facebook stalk an ex-boyfriend from sophomore year of college, and let’s just say, I’m not proud of it. In fact, I never wish to speak of those (five) dark hours again. One of the brave women in the video offers the best advice for those who get stuck in the ex-stalking spiral. She sagely says, “Just realize that they are an ex for a reason, and don’t go back to it.”
So, yes, while it's totally natural to want to find out how your exes are doing because they were once a big part of your life, know that it could lead to some, er, psychological turbulence. Just like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get when you look them up on Facebook. Here are some common reactions:
When You See That They Are Still Hot
At first you can give yourself a tiny inner high five, cause damn girl, he was sure cute. But nostalgia can do funny things, so make sure you don't start thinking about reaching out to see him in person again. Getting coffee with an ex = bad idea.
When You Start Getting Jealous
Nothing will suck you in more than coming across a picture of your ex and their new bae. You may be tempted to compare yourself to this new person, and ask "What do they have that I don't have?" Instead, wish the best for this person, because you know your ex probably had quite a few unresolved issues that their new flame is dealing with now.
When You Realize Why You Broke Up
It's always a relief when the spell cast by the internet is broken, and you come to your senses. You are free and can go back to your normal life — which is mostly likely much better without them!
Watch the entire video and see what it's like to take a walk down Facebook's memory lane here: