If there's one thing that ABC Family's Pretty Little Liars does really well — besides creeping the hell out of us every week — it's airing epic promos. And the promo for this week's episode "Hot For Teacher" is no exception. It has one Liar accusing another of being on crack, there's an excessive amount of crazy eyes (and they're not just courtesy of Ezra), and lots of stalker-azzi photos that might make you never want to leave the house again. See — you're already excited to watch.
We've been waiting since the show's annual Halloween episode for the Liars to realize that Ezra had some involvement with Alison and her "murder" and it looks like one of them is getting close. Spencer's got her Radley-status crazy eyes going in the promo and we know that means a few things — one of them being that no one's going to believe what she's about to say. Because everyone always wants Spencer to be crazy, especially now that Emily's got a conspiracy theory about her trying to break up the group.
There's a lot going on in this promo — and by "a lot" we mean a lot of Ezra being creepy and Spencer behaving moderately-to-extremely psychotic. So, before we get to dissecting it in a way that'd only make sense for Pretty Little Liars, here's the promo for "Hot For Teacher":
1) A DRUG ACCUSATION
Last week Spencer made a connection between Ezra and Ali's college guy that drank beer (Board Shorts beer, to be exact) and boysenberry pie. Ding, ding, ding — we have a winner! And by the looks of the promo, Hanna is the first person she told. Hanna also didn't react as she hoped she would because she immediately told Spencer that she's "gotta be on crack" if she thinks Ezra is "A". So that's two people that think she's off her rocker.
2) SPENCER'S CRAZY EYES
"Either I prove it or I'm wrong," she says — and she's going to prove it. She's going to go to hell and back to prove it because this is Spencer and that's what she does. All of that thinking and computer hacking would make anyone look a little crazy, but out of the all of the Liars — Spencer's crazy eyes (complete with dark circles) and Albert Einstein hair-frizz make her the ultimate maniac. God Spencer, you are so crazy.
PLL's executive producer Joseph Dougherty revealed that Spencer is going to fall down a major rabbit hole by obsessing over Ali's past. He told E!, "Where Aria's danger has always been being possibly too romantic, Spencer's danger may be being too analytical." And that brings us to #3...
3) EZRA'S CRAZY EYES ARE EVERYWHERE
We've seen his crazy eyes a million times before but we're never going to get used to them. They're also just the worst and the stuff nightmares have been made of for centuries. But anyway, there's a serious amount of Ezra crazy eyes in the promo. In fact, in under 30 seconds, the eyes make seven appearance. There's Ezra crazy eyes at school, lit up by the computer light multiple times, in his car, sneaking up behind Aria twice in his apartment, and threatening Spencer. That's a lot of crazy for one episode — which definitely means that Ezra can feel Spencer on his tail and he's freaking out. And we all know that Ezra's only way of dealing is by being extra creepy and threatening.
4) SPENCER GETTING THREATENED
I know, you get it, Ezra is totally creepy. But let's take a step back from his psychotic eyeballs to acknowledge how damn creepy it is when he manages to threaten the Liars and confuse them about whether or not he actually knows what they're doing. In the promo, he threatens Spencer because he "knows what she's been up to" — I mean, duh, he's probably "A" and definitely "Board Shorts". He then tells her, "Sloppy work leads to consequences. I'd hate to see you suffer," WHAT DOES THAT MEAN EZRA?! He could be talking about school work or he could be talking about the fact that she's hacked into his computer. Either way, he's threatening her and it's bone-chilling.
5) DON'T TELL ARIA
Emily wants Spencer to call Aria but Spencer says no — why? Aria's in the belly of the beast and they're not ready to call her yet? I mean, Spencer's definitely scared that Aria won't believe them and she'll desert the group and seek solace in creepy Ezra because she loves him. They also might be afraid that she is with Ezra and alerting her to their theory would make her look suspicious and then become a target of his madness. OR maybe this is a foreshadowing that the fan theory "Aria is A" might actually be true. Whatever it means, no one wants to tell Aria just yet — which seems incredibly inconvenient because she just broke up with Jake and has been spending a lot of time within a stone's reach of someone that might be a murderer.
Images: ABC Family