The #FreeTheNipple campaign has bringing out the best and worst in everyone in recent years, with a GOP bill in New Hampshire that's trying to ban women's nipples now on the naughty list. There are actually quite a few states where it's OK for women to go topless, New Hampshire included (currently, at least); however, if passed, this new bill would qualify bare breasts and nipples in public as indecent exposure and lewdness — the one exception being women who are breastfeeding. (How generous of them!)
Policing women's bodies is nothing new, but the gross double standard of the acceptance of male nipples and the rejection of female ones never ceases to amaze me. Nipples are nipples. Who cares? It's not just a matter of legally accepting the female body. We've already seen how our lack of cultural acceptance manifests for women openly breastfeeding in public. Despite the fact that we've sexualized the female body for decades, many people still cringe at a woman performing one of the most natural acts in the universe: Nourishing her offspring.
If New Hampshire disappoints us and ends up banning public exposure of our golden globes, where else can we go? Here are 31 places in the United States that will happily welcome you and your twins.
Big, giant disclaimer: Always check state and local city laws yourself to confirm how they'll feel about your chesticles before you go parading with your lady bits exposed to the world — and you might want to consult with an attorney while you're at it. Toplessness for women might only be permitted in certain cities, or on certain resorts, or in certain circumstances for each state; it sucks, and it's exactly that double standard that movements like #FreeTheNipple are trying to address, but we still can't just go around breaking the law willy-nilly. Just, you know, know what your rights are and where they apply. It's good to be informed — and to know how to fact-check your information.
You may think nothing special is going on in Ohio; but head to Columbus and you can let your boobies fly free.
Kansas is home to multiple nude resorts and other clothing-optional establishments. So take your party pillows in those places and go have a ball.
It might be recognized as one of the more conservative states, but Georgia is ironically OK with you and your peaches. However, not everyone in Georgia is aware of this fact, so be prepared for some backlash.
4. North Carolina
Beautiful weather, ocean breeze, and the option to free the nipple in the city of Asheville. Hooray!
Kentucky bans the exposure of genitals, but the knockers are fair game.
It's the home of Mardi Gras. Is anyone surprised? (No.) Where are my beads?
Maine is like the ninja state. It's hiding all the way up there in the tippy top corner of the United States. But we see you, Maine, and your little boobies, too!
Texas does everything better, including boobs. Austin in particular is a pro at boobs.
Missouri is largely known for its scenic landscapes. P.S. They love gazongas.
Mosey on over to Boulder to give your own boulders a break.
The Declaration of Independence was signed here. Bet you didn't know that your double lattes are welcome here, too.
Omaha has its own nudist organization. Um, where can I sign up for that?
14. North And South Dakota
A hop, skip, and a jump from Canada, these guys give the jubblies two thumbs way up.
15. Rhode Island
Blink-and-you-might-miss-it Rhode Island is a tiny state with a big message: "Bring us your lady lumps."
Until 2007, the town of Battleboro used to let full nudity fly!
Oregon is perfect for three things: Weed, birth control, and tatas. Eugene and Portland in specific love the feeling of wind on their naked boobies.
18. West Virginia
Don't be fooled. WV has a 250-acre nudist resort. Do you know how many boobs that equates to?
Major points to anyone whose nipples can withstand the Alaskan weather.
Tan lines? What tan lines?
Famous for its potatoes, Idaho is boob-friendly.
If there's any city where you'd want to be half-naked anyway, it's Honolulu (but I do mean half; the law forbids the exposure of genitals). Am I right?
Go to Madison, have a piece of cheese, and take out your bewbz.
24. New York
New York City: Most people's number one place to give their knockers some fresh air.
Go to Yale. Get some knowledge. Unleash your nuggets.
Chicago isn't the only reason to visit. However, as The Richest notes, "going topless in [Chicago] is more tolerated... thatn allowed." Family-oriented nude resorts exist in Illinois, though, so find one of those and you're golden.
I'm not sure what else is going on in Iowa, but I know they don't mind boobs.
28. New Mexico
Stop by Santa Fe and you might be seeing a lot of knockers.
29. Washington, D.C.
Great things are happening in our nation's capital. B00BS!
As long as you don't go nekkid from the waste up with the intention of arousing anyone, this conservative state won't complain about your scones.
Have you ever imagined scaling the Rocky Mountains topless? I bet you are now.