Guys, there is so much to say about this new music video. Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval's new musical venture with Isaac Kappy is everything you need in your life. Together, the duo makes up your new favorite group, Charles McMansion, and their debut music video for the song, "T.I.P" (it legitimately stands for "Touch In Public") is the greatest piece of art that we have been privileged to hear/see in decades. Tom is at his finest here, folks. He's gyrating and pop locking like it's his last day on Earth and you need to see it to be whole.
The entire video takes place in a quiet, seemingly wholesome library where the musical twosome disrupts the serenity with their sexiness.
Let that sink in.
Obviously, an orgy of sorts starts forming within the book stacks because when Charles McMansion enters the place, anywhere is appropriate for some heavy petting. Everyone is just touching in public around these parts and it's delightful chaos. Lucky for us, Tom isn't worried about the curse of having your boo in your music video because Ariana makes a hilarious appearance. She isn't the only familiar face though. Vanderpump Rules stars, LaLa Kent and Faith Stowers make seriously amazing appearances, too. So, without further ado, here are some of the best moments from this visual masterpiece.
It begins in a serene library where LaLa and Faith study in sports bras.
Serenity is for nerds. Tom and Isaac are here in Miami Vice suits to fix it with vinyl.
Holy Dewey Decimal System, what's that glowing purple light?
IT'S CHARLES MCMANSION.
Most savage record player of all time.
LaLa is judging you. So hard.
Ariana is, too.
Tom and Isaac aren't worried. The stacks are their dance floor. Point, duck face, and repeat.
Uh oh, Tom and Isaac's sexiness has done something to Faith.
She's licking books now...
Now they're humping books...
Is there a euphemism involving books that I don't know about?
Ariana is all of us right now.
Tom's sexiness is causing an absolute frenzy.
Tom keeps turning a dial maniacally, resulting in people losing their clothes and their sense of library etiquette.
Again. All of us.
The dial. The booty shaking, clothing peeling dial.
Ariana is a rock demon now.
This narrative is a little sloppy, fellas.
Ok, seriously. Licking more books. I'm googling, "sexy time + books" right now.
Things are getting weird and Tom is clearly in pain.
Faith is taking this opportunity to thoroughly examine Isaac's molars.
Obligatory choreographed group dance!
And as mysteriously as it began, it ends.
With Tom turning into an Animorphs book cover.
Here is the video in its entirety for your viewing pleasure.
Basically, you are not a complete person until you experience "T.I.P" for yourself. Charles McMansion is your new obsession and you don't even realize it yet. Viva la Tom Sandoval.
Images via screenshot