Celebs' Boring Instagrams Vs. My Boring Instagrams

For a while now, I have been convinced that there is nothing more wild than the comments section under a celebrity Instagram post. I’m sure you’ve seen the “YASSSS you slay me” and “First!” and “Come to [Insert country her]” and "Marry me" and "ILYSM PLEASE have my children" declarations on pictures of things like kale salads and are nodding your head in agreement with me. Yes? Yes. So, I ventured to hash out this phenomenon and decided to do so by comparing the comments left on celebrity Instagrams to the comments left on a normal Instagram — my own.

Going into this venture, I figured this would be cake. My photos would have a few lame comments and the celebrities would have all the praise and glory, and... that is not exactly untrue. That is honestly, pretty much, how it went. But there was another thing I discovered, something that made me cling a little tighter to the less frequent and less enthusiastic comments I typically receive: People have absolutely no filter when it comes to telling celebrities how they really feel about them and whatever they photographed. Meaning, that the difference between the celebrity Instagram comments in comparison to mine is drastic, but not always in a wow-their-lives-are-so-much-better-than-mine type of way. Sometimes, when social media feedback is concerned, anonymity can be a real privilege.

A majority of my research was quite comical to me. I laughed heartily to myself as I read comment after comment of celebs being called someone’s “queen” on a picture featuring a mostly eaten brunch whereas mine got one measly, pitiful comment of the emoji with the sunglasses. But, for as much as I wasn’t declared royalty or called a “babe” in a picture of my feet, I also didn’t have to suffer through the mean and uncalled for comments. I didn't include most of the hateful comments I saw, because they don't deserve the time of day, but some less outwardly rude ones I figured were eyeopening and should be seen.

But enough negativity, this post is mostly just absolutely ridiculous and self-deprecating. So, enjoy this compilation of people’s reactions to celebrities’ boring Instagrams as opposed to how they react to my equally as boring Instagrams. I know I did.

Lea Michele's Photo Of The Beach & Some Palm Trees

Comments:

She's not even in the picture!!!!

My Photo Of The Beach & Some Palm Trees

Comments:

I'm not in the picture, either. That MUST be why none of my friends professed their undying love to me or pledged their allegiance to my throne... right?

Right?!

Chrissy Teigen's Photo Of A Burger

Comments:

Conclusion: Chrissy's burger is "amazing."

My Photo Of A Burger

Comments:

Conclusion: My burger is just OK.

P.S. Why does it sound like they're sending me off somewhere?

Beyoncé's Photo Of A Pizza, An Apparent Anomaly

Comments:

Bey's commenters really love her and anything that she does.

Not Pictured: The intense multi-comment fight over whether Beyoncé and the featured meal were vegan. Seriously, I won't bother you with it.

My Photo Of A Pizza, A Regular Occurence

Comments:

My commenters just really love pizza. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Grant Gustin Mean Muggin' It In A Selfie With His Dogs

Comments:

Unwarranted commenting intensity on fleek.

Me, Mean Muggin' It (Because I Was Hungover) In A Selfie With My Dog

Comments:

Don't be fooled, all of these comments were made in jest. They were mocking me and my illness and my mug. What terrible friends.

Kerry Washington's Scenic Picture Of Her Hike

Comments:

Her commenters basically went on her hike with her in spirit. Some even offered to.

My Scenic Picture Of My Hike

Comments:

Not one person asked to join me on my hike. Harrumph.

Julianne Hough Kissing Her Dog

Comments:

Dog jealousy is a disease.

But, to be fair, despite her caption, there were a hefty amount of people "grossed" out about this as well.

I mean, to her it isn't.

Me, Kissing My Dog

Comments:

No one cared about me or my dog or how gross we were. But they did like my sunglasses. Thanks, fam. They were a gift.

Emily Bett Rickards' Mostly Eaten Brunch

Comments:

Emily Bett's picture serves as a personal invitation to visit various countries.

My Meticulously Staged Picture Of Brunch

Comments:

Yeah... that's... that was it. That was the one comment I got.

Kendall Jenner Nonchalantly Holding Her Nephew

Comments:

Quite the propositions. A date and an impregnation offer. How sweet.

Me Nonchalantly Holding My Cousin's Baby

Comments:

Hey, no one asked me to mother their children and/or date them. But my friends were *super thrilled* about my beer drinking. Does that mean I won this one?

A Picture Of Lorde's Shoes

Comments:

Lorde's feet 4 prez.

P.S. That last comment is brilliant. Truly.

A Picture Of My Shoes (And My Sister's)

Comments:

To be clear, they were talking about the scenery, not our feet. And no one said they loved me. *Dusts dirt off shoulders* Their loss.

Nina Dobrev, Holding An Oscar That Doesn't Belong To Her

Comments:

She's got some good fans, man.

Me, Holding An Emmy That Doesn't Belong To Me

Comments:

None of my fans* told me I could win an Emmy. And, OK, maybe I don't work in television (yet) but would it kill them to be more encouraging, like Nina's followers?

*Friends

Shot Of Drake's Profile At A Sporting Event

Comments:

A lot of people very confused as to their true parentage.

Shot Of My Profile At A Sporting Event

Comments:

One person showing parental feelings towards me.

Emma Robert's Photo Of A Sandwich

Comments:

This is like one of those nice notes your mom used to leave you in your lunch box, except if your mom gave you 440+ of them.

On the flip side, though, people said some pretty uncool things to her, as well, that I know none of my Instagram followers would ever say to me, because it'd hurt my feelings:

Um, really? Really?! Eat whatever you damn well please, Emma.

My Photo Of A Sandwich

Comments:

This comment section was a safe space. A no judgement zone where we could all bask in the universality of a grilled cheese. And, for that, I am glad I am not a celebrity.

When it comes down to it, the reactions to celebrities' Instagrams is just a glimpse into all that comes with fame. The worshipping and the love are there, but also the below the belt jabs and the belittling. So, yeah, I think I'm fine with my boring Instagram and the boring comments that come with 'em.

Images: Caitlyn Callegari