Here is a sparkling objective truth gemstone for ya: Britney Spears’s videography is one of the greatest videographies in music video history. Period. If you believe her music video catalog owes its indomitableness to the life-changing choreography, the life-changing costumes, the life-changing hairstyles, the life-changing songs, the life-changing special effects, the life-changing sets, the life-changing cameos, and the life-changing pop star, you are close. You are very close. However, that list is missing (at least) one extremely crucial element. And that element is the props. The inanimate objects sprinkled throughout Godney’s videography are like the caramel drizzle on a frappuccino. Sure, a frap is plenty good without the caramel sauce, but anyone who says that drizzle does not take the blended coffee drink to the next level is kidding themselves.
My favorite Britney Spears music video accessories of all time? I am so glad you've asked. I've picked some of the most significant B. Spears music video props to ever grace the small screen. Every last one of these props is legendary/is meaningful/is perfect/is special/is life-changing, and don't you dare try to tell me otherwise.
1. The Oops!...I Did It Again Rock From The "Oops!...I Did It Again" Music Video
Forget the Heart of the Ocean. This B. Spears space rock is the real jewel of the video.
2. The Bed Frame From The "Me Against The Music" Music Video
"Hey, Madonna? What are we going to do with this old bed frame? I guess I can call the city and schedule a pickup."
"Why go through all of that trouble when we can just dance on it instead?"
"Great point Let's dance battle."
3. The Drink Cart From The "Toxic" Music Video
Come on, don't act like you haven't "britney spears toxic airplane drink cart ebay."
4. The Hand Mirror From The "Lucky" Music Video
That mirror is so lucky. It's a star.
5. The Square Sunny-Side Up Egg From The "Womanizer" Music Video
6. The Chair/Cane Transformer From The "Stronger" Music Video
How? HOW (part two)?!
7. The Carton Of Milk From The "I Wanna Go" Music Video
Heeeey, Guillermo Díaz!
8. The Pie From The "If U Seek Amy" Music Video
Ugh. I want pie. Pie don't I have pie right now?
9. The Copy Machine From The "Womanizer" Music Video
Brit Brit. The Britmeister. Brit-o-Rama. Makin' copies. (Ugh, I'm sorry.)
10. The Disc... Thing? From The "Toxic" Music Video
11. The Basketball From The "...Baby One More Time" Music Video
The prop that started it all.
12. The Binoculars From The "Radar" Music Video
13. The Milkshake From The "Crazy" Music Video
Did Melissa Joan Hart ever deliver it to the person who ordered it? The world may never know!
14. The Pink Ball From The "Sometimes" Music Video
I've watched this music video 9 million times, but I still find myself surprised every time Brit Brit doesn'tpunt that ball into the ocean.
15. The Pillows From The "Born To Make You Happy" Music Video
How did those two pillows produce so many feathers? Is this an infinite pillow feather situation or what?
16. The Whip From The "Circus" Music Video
17. The Exploding Mannequins From The "Work B*tch" Music Video
Shout-out to the B. Spears music video props. Thanks for the memories. You've done great work. All of you belong in a museum.
Images: BritneySpearsVEVO/YouTube (17); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (17)