"How can I be chill like her?" my friend asked me, pointing to a woman sitting across from us at the coffee shop. She was sitting at a table by herself, drinking tea with a very pleasant resting face, looking out the window. "Yeah, I'll have what she's having." She didn't have her phone out, she wasn't bouncing her knee or furiously typing on her computer. Her focus didn't dart around the room or narrow in on anyone else. She was just taking a moment out of her day to be. My friend and I looked at her like she had three heads.
We were in such awe of her chill-ness that we proceeded to talk about her for hours after we left the coffee shop. Was she naturally a calm person? Was the technology-free tea break something that helped her to remain calm? Was she calming herself down? How confident do you have to be to just sit somewhere in public and be present like that? We were so jealous of her demeanor, I'm surprised we didn't ask for her autograph.
The concept of not being jailed by constant anxiety sounds like a vacation I can't afford to take. Maybe she's a yes person. No, no maybe she knows how to say no. Maybe it's chamomile. Maybe she's not from around here. Maybe she has radiation. We were so jealous of her chill, that our lack of chill sky-rocketed. Among some of the many things that are embarrassing to Google, I added "how do you become chill" to the list. It turns out, there are few simple adjustments you can make to your life to instantly make you a calmer person. These are six habits of calm people you might want to embrace if you've ever looked at a chill person like they belong in the circus.
They Know How To Disconnect
Technology can both lead to anxious behavior and exacerbate anxious thoughts. Calm people know the importance of distancing themselves from their devices every now and then. They don't allow themselves to be constantly checking messages and scrolling through their new feeds.
They Know How To Say No
Calm people don't over-book. They agree to plans that accommodate their schedule and lifestyle, and know how to say no to opportunities that might cause them to spread themselves too thin. They're not interested in cramming as much activity as possible into their schedule. They're more focused on quality over quantity.
They Say What's On Their Mind
Calm people don't leave things unsaid. They don't lie and they don't leave interactions feeling unsettled. They make sure that they're honest about their feelings so that there's no need to obsess or hyper-focus on conversations long after they're over.
They Believe In Themselves
People who are calm tend to hold a strong sense of self. They've taken the time to get to know themselves and trust that they're the best leaders of their life. When they agree to something, they don't stress about the outcome because they believe in themselves. They're less likely to sit in a coffee shop staring at people and sizing themselves up than someone who is more insecure.
They Get A Good Night's Sleep
They know that a lack of sleep can cause stress, anxiety and obsessive or negative thoughts. Which came first, the good sleeper or the calm people? Calm people value a good night's sleep.
They Know How To Check In And Check Out
Calm people know how to take care of themselves. If their lives are becoming chaotic, they know to take a step back and slow things down. They don't let their lives become unmanageable. They're in control and can distance themselves from stress. They know just how to tackle difficult tasks and are not easily overwhelmed. They have a system for everything.
Images: Columbia Pictures, Giphy