The JonBenet Ramsey Beanie Baby Could Have Made Abbi & Ilana Rich On 'Broad City'

On an adventure in Abbi's hometown, Ilana stumbled across artifacts of a young Abbi's life, including a framed photo of Ross Geller from Friends, saved pieces of her pepperoni-smelling dreadlocks, and a rare Beanie Baby. This valuable JonBenét Ramsey Beanie Baby on Broad City could have made Ilana a significant amount of money (depending on the strength of the yen), but in an effort to help Abbi atone for a high school mistake, Ilana gave away the stuffed prized possession. The toy highlighted the devotion of Ilana and Abbi's friendship — and the fact that Ilana can successfully haggle in Mandarin.

While this specific plot in the Broad City episode "Philadelphia" may have been a tad insensitive to Ramsay's family, take some comfort in knowing that the Beanie Baby doesn't actually exist. Instead Broad City was mocking a recent-ish news story about a British couple trying to sell a Princess Diana Beanie Baby (which does exist) on eBay with an opening bid of 25,000 pounds. In actuality, depending on where the bear was made, it is worth only approximately $27 or $47. However, in the land of Broad City, the fictional JonBenét Beanie was worth over $13,000.

Unfortunately, after getting bids on Abbi's childhood treasure on eBay, Ilana offered the Beanie Baby to Alice, an old friend of Abbi's. Alice had been injured in high school and Abbi had thrown a fundraiser for her. Unfortunately, she never turned in the money donation to Alice's family (blame it on the mushrooms) and decided to fix her eight-year-old mistake. When Abbi and Ilana finally tracked down Alice, they had spent most of the fundraising money in miscellaneous antics involving a bowling alley and a liquor store. The fact that Alice was no longer injured, had become a wealthy model, and lived in Will Smith's mom's house didn't make a difference to her and she snatched the Beanie Baby from Ilana. Thus ending Ilana's dreams of making a profit off of the bizarre toy.

Although I knew the women would never hold onto the Beanie Baby if it was actually worth something, the storyline was worth it just for the fact that Ilana screamed, "I'm fully engorged!" with a close-up shot of her vagina to reference her lady boner about the unique find. And, considering how quickly Abbi and Ilana spent the Alice donation money in "Philadelphia," I don't think that the $13,000 would have lasted the ladies of Broad City very long. Plus, what's the fun in watching a financially secure Abbi and Ilana?

Images: Comedy Central (2)