27 Crazy Things You Notice When You Rewatch 'Never Been Kissed"
There are things I always look for in a film when constructing a rewatch — and usually I can’t fail with a 1999 teen movie or a rom-com about a journalist learning a valuable lesson about love. Suffice to say, Never Been Kissed is therefore long overdue, as a prime combination of both. From the get-go, I honestly can't imagine that nobody would kiss Drew Barrymore into her 20s — but between egregiously garish late ‘90s fashion and a bizarre take on high school, Never Been Kissed is a delightfully ridiculous movie, and I mean that in the most loving way possible.
To backpedal, the film is about Chicago Sun Times copy editor Josie, who goes undercover at a local high school for her first major feature story. Insecurities from her previous adolescent experience (and her current adult experience — girlfriend is sort of a hot mess) crop up, and she has a difficult time adjusting. But, when her brother (also in his 20s) enrolls in the school for fun and spins her into a bastion of popularity, things start to look up... even if she can’t quite find a story and is harboring some quasi-illicit feels for her teacher.
Oh, all this, and she’s never been kissed.
So settle in and go back to school with these 27 silly things from Never Been Kissed .
1. "'Hopefully' Is An Adverb. It Means "With Hope." You Have It Defining The Copy, And I'm Pretty Sure The Copy Doesn't Have Feelings."
Shut up, Josie, you don't know how the copy feels.
2. Josie Shows Her Latest Needlepoint To Her Turtles, Which Is Dark On Many Levels.
That little guy would side-eye her if he could.
3. What The Hell, Is This A Time-Traveling Pitch Meeting?
You have like an Edwardian era barber on the left and a mid-1800s prairie schoolteacher on the right.
4. Also: What?
God, this looks so wrong, imagine going into a pitch meeting and using a pencil, geez. Everything is so archaic at this company.
5. When Josie Shows Up As Big Bird's Cousin And It Makes Me Sad
There aren't even enough cry-face emojis to describe it.
Like the sombrero is almost a marked improvement because at least it adds a pop of color, you know?
6. Jessica Alba, For Some Reason?
Somebody tell her she's got a little something in her hair.
7. "We Sit Here."
All three of you? At the same desk? Budget cuts must be rough.
8. Did Josie Curl Her Hair Differently For Gym Class?
Because when she emerges later, it's the same buoyant-looking helmet she was rocking before.
9. Oh Man, I Remember Smashing Cupcakes On My Best Friend's Face In High School
She sure is fitting in with the kids.
10. "Brett, What Happens When You Go Out On A Football Field In Uniform?"
"WE KICK ASS!"
Whoa, Brett, let's take the rage down to a dull roar, OK?
11. Baby James Franco Sighting To The Left
Remember when all he did was acting?
12. Did Josie And Aldys Kidnap A Child?
13. Synchronized Dancing In A Club
Yeah, there isn't anything profoundly lame about that.
14. Oh Man, I Remember When We Had Coleslaw Eating Contests At My High School
I always snagged first place.
15. "I Used To Go Out With Her, Man. She Dumped Me"
— Rob, talking about his sister.
16. "I Feel Like I'm Really Ready To Do It. You Know, Like, Have Sex For The First Time."
"Dude, that's cool, but this is literally like the third time I've ever talked to you."
17. Oh Man, I Remember Holding Hands With My Three Best Friends And Running Into Banners For Prom In High School
Like it was yesterday.
18. "You Can't Refuse To Sell Me A Ticket To Prom!"
"Listen, Alpo, I can do whatever I want!"
Whoa, lighten up, Edward Cullen.
19. "Look! I Get To Have A Sword!"
That somehow manages to get past school security but the nail files get confiscated, so you know.
20. I Mean, This Isn't Completely Inappropriate Or Anything
That's your student, bro.
21. Also, This Whole Dance Is Inexplicably Sexually Charged
But at least Guy isn't Aldy's teacher, so...
22. "I Mean, Every Word Out Of Your Mouth Has Been A Complete Lie. I Don't Know You At All."
This is literally like the 26th time I've heard this speech in a rom-com.
23. Everybody Just Loves And Supports Josie Now?
24. And Honestly, My Heart Really Breaks For Josie In This Scene
Because she never learned how to fill in her eyebrows properly.
Clearly, there are crazier things in Never Been Kissed then the whole not-being kissed thing — and I'm sure you can pick up on more yourself next time you dust off that DVD for a rewatch. Which should be now, because this movie is still a classic.
Images: 20th Century Fox (32)