Getting your period is already a whole ordeal in and of itself, but trying to find code phrases in order to let people know what's going on inside of you can get pretty tricky. Do you know how many phrases and code words for getting your period there actually are in this country? Women are constantly amazing me with their creativity, so seeing Mashable's new versions of the same old song and dance really made me giggle.
I got my period the old-fashioned way — way too late for my grade and during an inconvenient time. While all my friends were sharing their pad/tampon experiences, I was standing around desperately hoping that my cramps and bloated stomach meant I was next. Regardless of my hopes, it didn't happen for a while. Then, on a day like any other, while my father and I were putting together a dish cabinet in our living room, I excused myself and ran to the bathroom because I was sure that I must have peed myself. As I pulled down my underwear I gasped, thinking that I had somehow pooped myself instead, because unlike the advice every sex-ed teacher gave me, dried blood kind of looks brown. My mother's reaction was very calm, like a gynecologist's reaction should be. She handed me a fresh pair of underwear, a GIANT maxi pad, and congratulated me on my menarche. (My father's reaction was thankfully nonexistent.)
I don't know the exact reason why we use phrases in order to signify the fact that we got our periods, but I bet it has something to do with the stigma behind it. Some people still think it's gross to talk about our periods, and I respectfully disagree. Any time that I am "on the rag" you can believe that I am telling people exactly what's happening and stating it bluntly. I have my period, blood is coming out of me, have a good day, kind sirs. Now that I see the plethora of options for hilarious coded phrases, I'm rethinking my strategy. I would much rather say any of the following in daily conversations, and so can you!
I'd like to make a reservation. And also request that I get many hugs and words of emotional support from the room service person.
As a fan of Game of Thrones, I can say that the term really captures the emotional upheaval you experience during your period.
Since I already revealed how I got my period to everyone on the Internet, might as well go with it. The term "Carrie" very much incapsulates the second day of my period. I am a walking prom nightmare.
Everyone loves Shark Week. Everyone also understands what irony is.
My favorite term ever created on this planet. I am forever going to use it and make myself laugh. Check out the full video of amazing phrases and terms that you can now substitute in conversations:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; YouTube