Not all friendships are made equal, not all friendships are made to last. In fact, some friendships are doomed from their moment of inception, whether both parties are aware of it or not. Typically, the kinds of friendships that are doomed were built on a rocky foundation. Maybe you became friends after being co-conspirators of a revenge bar fight. Maybe you became friends after sleeping with the same married person. Maybe you became friends after your parents forced you to be. Maybe you became friends when you realized you had something to gain from each other. These types of platforms often do not support and encourage the most trusting and loving friendships.
While friendship takes work, it shouldn't be hard. If you're putting a lot of effort into making a friendship work and only getting push back or pushed back, it might not be the kind of friendship that's meant to last. It's never a waste to get to know someone and share yourself with someone, so don't get too nostalgic and upset if you realize one of your friendships isn't gong to last. We learn from everything we do and that includes every friendship we have. These are a few things to look out for if you're wondering if a friendship is doomed.
Too Many Enemies
Does this friend have a lot of enemies in her closet? A lot of friends that were once super close and now are nowhere to be found? If so, this person might have a tendency to get close fast, and burn out.
Friendships that last are not filled with judgement. It's one thing to care or worry about the way someone lives their life, it's another to be judgmental and make someone feel bad about being who they are.
All relationships are built on trust. Can you trust your friend to have your back? Would you trust your friend alone with your significant other? If the answer is no, the trust isn't there. The friendship can't go far.
Does your friend constantly talk about her other friends behind their back? Does she have something to say about everyone? Don't think you're an exception — chances are your friend will turn around and talk about you, too. A lack of loyalty is not conducive to a strong friendship.
Empathy Versus Sympathy
A key skill for being a good friend is knowing how and when to be empathetic instead of sympathetic. A true friend knows how to get in the trenches with you and feel how you're feeling. If your friend always choses sympathy over empathy, they're not willing to emotionally open themselves up to you — it's a dead end.
Now I See You, Now I Don't
Some people who are not capable of being long-term friends act almost like casual Tinder dates in friendships. When you're with them, you're the center of their universe, you have all of their attention. But the second you leave each other, it's like you don't exist. They're not texting you to see how your exam went or how your argument with your mother played out. They only care about you when they can see you. Sorry, but it's not a real friendship if you can't see it when it's not in the room.
Images: praetorianphoto/E+/Getty Images, Giphy