11 April Fools' Day Facebook Statuses To Watch Out For Today, Because They're Inevitable

When it comes to lazy April Fools' Day jokes you can pull off with little to no extra pre-planning or thought, nothing beats the simplicity and effectiveness of April Fools' Day Facebook statuses. You don't even have to be original to have an impact. A simple "omg everybody guess what I'm getting married!!" posted on April 1 is about as old as it gets, and yet, you will still have distant relatives, old friends from high school, and your former next door neighbor asking you when the special day is. Which, I suppose, is why everyone does it. If you're the type of person to play an April Fools' Day joke, it doesn't get any easier than this.

The Internet is a terrifying place, and never is that more apparent than on April Fools' Day, when everyone and their mother is trying to pull a fast one over you in 140 characters or less. Honestly, if I could just cut my entire Internet service all together for this day and this day only, I would — but because the lure of checking Twitter is too strong, and because I feel like I'll probably die if I can't look at Instagram every 10 minutes, giving up social media isn't really a viable option. Instead, it's best to play it safe, and remember — trust no one. Here are the 11 types of statuses you are inevitably going to see on April Fools' Day.

1. After weeks of keeping it a secret, I'm so excited to finally announce I'm pregnant!

Or, if they're trying to be more ~subtle~ they might say something like "so excited to see our family grow #babymakesthree." Either way, not only is this prank tired and super cliche, it's not even funny. In fact, it can be kind of offensive, depending on who your audience is. Assume that any status you see today of the family planning variety is false, and for the love of April Fools,' don't post this one yourself. You can do so much better.

2. He/she said yes! Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you **insert name here**

Ah yes, the engagement post. Just as trite as the pretend pregnancy status update, but slightly more complicated to disprove. I mean, that couple has been together for a really long time. It's possible that they actually got engaged. But like, probably not, right? RIGHT?

3. **Insert name here** will you be my bridesmaid?

A more subtle riff on the outright "I'm engaged post," this status implies impending matrimony without actually stating it outright. This is particularly cruel to whoever unknowingly gets tagged in this post, because now that person thinks she has to deal with the drama of being part of a wedding party, when two seconds ago she didn't even realize you were "engaged." Double whammy.

4. We eloped! Wow so in love xoxo

Why do couples insist on trying this type of April Fools' Day Facebook status every single year? Everyone knows you're only kidding. Nobody thinks it's especially funny. And yet, without fail, I see this pop up on my newsfeed every time, usually accompanied by a photo of said couple staring dreamily into each others' eyes. Pro tip: if this is a trick you are thinking of trying, consider posting it on, say, Sept. 8, or May 12, or July 22, or some other random day that isn't already associated with such foolery. Then I might actually be surprised.

5. **Insert name here** and I just broke up. This is a really hard time for both of us so please don't ask me any questions about it.

Which, of course, is an open invitation for people to ask eight million questions about your current relationship status. Not that this person minds — after all, that's the very reason why they posted this status in the first place. For a slightly less obvious twist, some people will try silently changing their Facebook relationship status to single for the day, and see if people comment on it. Don't. As a rule of thumb, if any major life changes are made public on FB today in any way, they probably aren't real.

6. You guys won't believe this, but I'm moving to **insert location halfway across the world**. So psyched for my next big adventure!

You're right, I don't believe it. Not even for a second. Try again next year.

7. Honestly, I think Donald Trump is actually making some really great points.

Generally speaking, politically charged status updates anytime of year can be a nightmare to deal with, but on April Fools' Day, they are the worst. And with such a controversial and divisive election season currently upon us that, to be honest, has kind of seemed like one giant prank from the beginning, it can be hard to figure out which of these statuses are actually true, and which ones are just cleverly disguised attempts to rile people up. Pass.

8. I finally did it! I finally quit my job!

OMG I'm so happy for you! JK APRIL FOOLS'. Do better.

9. The craziest thing just happened — you have to see my new tattoo!

Uh, pics or it didn't happen.

10. After so many months of hard work, my book deal finally went through. Thank you so much everybody for all your support!

Oh wow, I can't wait to pick up a copy of your book at Barnes & Noble when it comes out NEVER. Congratz!

11. I'm getting rid of Facebook. Forever.

Some people post this on April Fools' Day as a ploy to see who will beg them to stay on social media. I'm considering posting this on April Fools' Day because these statuses have finally depleted the remaining dregs of my soul, and it's clearly time for me to log off. TTYN.

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