If you love baggy, '50s-inspired denim that hits bellybutton high, you'll likely know the plight that comes with that preference. There are certain things people who wear mom jean are usually tired of hearing, and they all circle around the fact that we need to defend our choices to the death, possibly with a dagger clenched between our teeth. There's a lot of hate out there for the high waist trend, but when you've fallen headfirst into it, you can't often convince yourself to climb back out. You just love the look, and that's all there is to it. It's just unfortunate that 95 percent of the population doesn't get it.
If you're anything like me, you've probably heard tired jokes that all hit the same punch lines: Your butt looks about a mile long, your curves are killed underneath shapeless denim, you look like you just waded out of a thrift store on Dollar Day, or you seem more JCPenney-in-the-1990s rather than retro chic. The remarks just don't end.
Yet you keep on wearing them because you know haters gonna hate and you're not about to change your style because of a few confused comments. Our denim is made out of tougher skin than that. So without further ado, here are 11 things mom jean wearers are very likely tired of hearing.
1. "Have you seen that SNL skit?"
Yes. Yes I have. And I'd like to point out that I'm not wearing an applique vest nor am I frolicking in front of a Sears-approved, cloud-print photo backdrop. Why can't I just like having my jeans hit my bellybutton without having you quietly sing, "She's giving up, she's giving up," to me?!
2. "You're so hipster."
This I don't understand. Should I call you a cowboy for your boot-cut denim, or Xtina for your low, low risers? Maybe Pete Wentz for your skinny jeans? I can enjoy a silhouette without signing my name up for a label, no?
3. "Did you get those at the thrift store?"
Maybe, or maybe I paid over $100 for them in American Apparel. I don't know which admission will make me look like more of a sucker in your eyes, so I'll just keep quiet.
4. "I remember when my mom used to wear those in the '90s."
I also remember when she used to wear those fanny packs you take to Coachella and the baggy denim jackets we see in all the craft beer bars come Friday night. Almost everything else from the '90s and our parents' closets became très chic again, so why are my jeans getting so much flack?
5. "They make your butt look so long."
Why does that bother everyone so much? If I'm OK having a backside longer than a ruler, than that's all that matters. If you don't like what you see, move on.
6. "I think only a certain body type can pull them off."
OK, I didn't know you were subbing for Anna Wintour today. Congrats on that big promotion! (End sarcasm.)
But seriously, if we all listened to one-dimensional fashion rules, we'd be barred from so many fun styles. Short girls wouldn't be able to wear maxis, tall girls wouldn't be able to wear minis, muscular girls would be banned from skintight dresses, and plus size ladies wouldn't be able to enjoy a crop top. All because some arbitrary person decided it so? That seems like a poor trade off.
7. "I think they have zero sex appeal."
The key phrase in this sentence is I think. Meanwhile, I think they're plenty sexy, and I prove it in the way I strut in my baggy pants down the street during the day and onto the dance floor at night. Sexy is a mindset, after all.
8. "They just seem so outdated."
Let me bring your attention to the '70s styles cluttering up the racks in shops, the '90s Calvin Klein-like minimalism popping up on Instagram, and the forever loved grunge trend of that same decade. Everything is outdated if you use that logic.
9. "I think another cut would suit you better."
We both know what you're trying to say with that, and if I'm OK with my body type and how it's filling out this denim, then I think that's all that should matter.
10. "God, they're just so hard to pull off."
Nah, once you zip them up you're automatically pulling them off. Anything you like, you can pull off. You just have to be brave enough to let yourself explore your interests, no matter what the haters say.
11. "They're like the denim version of granny panties."
And I'd like you to know that I have a pair of those, too. And I may or may not be wearing them right now, underneath my impossibly high pants. They kind of go hand in hand, am I right? And they're hella hot.
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Images: Marlen Komar (7)