What 'Game of Thrones' Thinks About All Your Stupid Whining This Winter
Alriiiiight New York, we get it, it's snowing, it's cold, there's a storm called Pax coming, whine whine whine. On behalf of all Game of Thrones characters, I'm taking a stand, because you have noooooo idea. You might think it's sooooo hilarious and on point to make "winter is coming" jokes, but you know what? No. You don't know winter the way the Starks do; you probably don't even know winter the way those bitch ass Lannisters do, and they live in the Florida of Westeros for god's sakes. Pull yourselves together people.
Do your blizzards come replete with terrifying snow zombies or insane ginger hillbillies wearing dead things as clothing? They do not. Is winter going to last potentially hundreds of years? No it's damn well not, unless global warming goes off in a very unexpected direction. I hasten to add that in Westeros, no one has snow blowers, and they definitely don't have a team out at 5 a.m. to make sure highways and streets are clear before your morning commute. You think New York City Mayor De Blasio is a joke? Imagine how shitty this blizzard would be if King Joffrey was in charge. At least De Blasio's brain isn't a result of incest, or at least as far as we know.
And all this without the imminent fear of dragons, because ya know, winter and white walkers are terrifying, but imagine a blizzard with dragons. It would be really bad. So stop getting your panties in a twist, winter haters, because when Game of Thrones characters say that winter is coming, they're less concerned about having to work from home for a day while blasting the heat and drinking Baileys hot chocolates and are more concerned about having to defend the wall from snow zombies and extremely angry ex-girlfriends.
In fact, this is what they think of your bitching and moaning.
Get over yourselves! <Slap>
Ugh, sing it Sansa.
This is literally what you look like right now. Stop crying.
You do not know hardship. Seriously. I sat in a burning house NAKED.
You are being little bitches. Calm down. It's just frozen water guys.
We really are.
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