The Kardashian Jokes In 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt' Make You Reconsider How Much You Know About Them
It's time to celebrate by breaking out our favorite light-up sneakers and eating candy for dinner, because Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 2 is finally streaming on Netflix. But, beneath her sunny exterior, Kimmy admits that life isn't amazing at the moment — I mean, she lost her job and her favorite scrunchie. Plus, she's most definitely not over Dong so she and Lillian vow to get over their exes together. (Lillian's ex is "Bobby Durst," but no big deal.) Kimmy randomly runs into Dong way more times than one would imagine possible in New York City and he tells her that, since he doesn't have Kimmy to help him with his English anymore, he's started watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The result? An ongoing line of Kardashian jokes on Kimmy Schmidt that remind us just how much we know about this family — even if you've never seen an episode of their reality show.
For his part, Dong is super obsessed with all things Kardashian-related. He has opinions about all the family members and he can basically find a way to relate every life event back to the show. But the real reason the running Kardashian jokes are so funny is because they're immediately followed by a character realizing they inadvertently know way more about the Kardashians than they realized. Characters like Kimmy and Jacqueline's mom nod and smile before asking themselves, "Wait, how do I know that?!" Perhaps we need a character who has recently emerged from 15 years in an underground bunker to remind us just how much the Kardashians have infiltrated the news. (The "regular news," that is.)
Without further ado, let's recap the funniest Kardashian jokes of the season premiere:
1. On The Topic Of The Smartest Kardashian
Dong astutely observes that Khloe's the smartest member of the family "because, like, she makes the most sense." Fair enough.
2. The Reason For Kim's Fame
Kimmy doesn't watch the show, but knows enough to describe Kim as the "butt star who married a rapper who hates college." Leave it to Kimmy to coin the phrase "butt star" — I really hope this catches on.
3. On Kourtney's Relationship With Scott
Wait, she knows a few more things despite not actually watching the show — like that Kourtney finally ended her destructive relationship with Scott. At this point, I'm starting to think that Kimmy and I have more in common than simply a shared affinity for eating candy at all hours — I've never seen a single episode and I knew this, too.
4. ...And Kim's Selfie
Kimmy continues that, "meanwhile Kim's firing back at the haters with a nude pregnancy selfie." Not to sound like a broken record, but you'd have to be, uh, in an underground bunker to not know about this.
5. But, How Does Kimmy Know All This?
She saw it on the regular news. Duh!
6. "I Feel Like Rob Kardashian!"
Meanwhile, Jacqueline (who temporarily goes by "Jackie Lynn") attempts to reconnect with her Native American family. It doesn't go so well, prompting her to shout that she feels like Rob Kardashian because nothing she ever does is right for this family. Her mother's response? "The sock designer? Wait, how do I know that?" Seriously, how do we all know so much about the Kardashians?
7. Dong On That Time "Things Got Weird"
Remember the time Kourtney squirted her breastmilk on Kim's psoriasis? Dong is here to make sure we never forget it.
But, wait — how did I even know about that in the first place?
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