Entertainment

Bangerz Continues, With Presidential Blow Jobs

by Mallory Schlossberg

Just when you thought her tour couldn’t get oddly sexual enough, Miley Cyrus re-enacts giving Bill Clinton a blow job in her Bangerz tour, because nothing says “family fun” like the Lewinsky scandal. Imaginary animals and rides around on giant hot dogs aside, this brings Bangerz to a whole new level of WTF. In a bit in her 20-song extravaganza that is now reading like an acid-trip of a sexual awakening, Miley knees in front of a male dancer who is wearing a Bill Clinton mask and simulates fellatio, because you know, America. After all, this bit of, er, stylized choreography (is that the proper terminology for this? Or is it just simply “pretending to give a BJ?”) is featured in the song that recounts the days of Miley’s innocence, “Party In The USA” — you know, the kid friendly, throwback jam in her set? Just keep the kids around for this one ‘cause nothing says family-friendly patriotism like showing your youngsters that once upon a time, a White House Intern did this.

Miley attested, after all, that this tour is educational (like, I am learning that hot dogs are modes of transportation, and that there are more than 1,000 ways to grab your crotch — and there are even more lessons to be learned from the cultural prominence of Miley) and about teaching kids about REAL ART, cause they see things “so black and white,” ya know? I’m not sure where ‘Presidential Blow Job Scandal’ falls on the scale of important educational moments for kids, unless this was a momentous moment in Ms. Cyrus’s personal history (after all, she was six years old at the time).

Now, if the moral compasses of Presidents past or the governmental gravity of impeachment are of utmost importance to Miley, then there are definitely other ways to express that, and probably other ways to “educate” the youth of America.

And, uh, that’s a party in the USA. Thanks to Youtube, you can watch the orgy of misplaced patriotism right over here: